Gift wrapping just got a lot less stressful.
All I want for Christmas is fudge.
“Music is what feelings sound like.”
Because dinner shouldn’t just be delicious. It should also be ready immediately.
You know, very questionable motivational posters.
“Life’s tough, get a helmet!”
You won’t hear it and you won’t respond to it.
Oh, George Michael. We always knew you were a sensitive soul.
After being mistreated, Frank the dachshund has settled into his new life in the best way possible.
If you can check all of these off, it’s time to switch professions.
Just don’t mention diets.
“OK we have five credit cards and one gift certificate…”
Because life is nothing without music.
Being alone when you’re 80 doesn’t scare you because you already know your destiny. When you grow up, you’re going to be a cat lady.