1. Long ago, like 12 years ago, in the dreary days of Sisqo’s silver head, Ed Hardy, and Von Dutch trucker hats, a problematic trend began. This trend, a literal “pube killer,” became known as “manscaping.”
2. * Sounds the pube alarm *
4. Manscaping spread rapidly, almost like a deadly contagious virus comparable to the one on that dreaded poop cruise of 2013. It seemed like men everywhere were trimming, plucking, and, most unfortunately, de-pubing.
5. Scary thing is, it continues to this day.
6. Last week, we delved into the horrors of chest shaving. This week, we take a deeper dive. And by deeper dive, I mean pubes.
7. It’s time to stand up for the little guys (pubes).
9. Our campaign for pubes begins with the most obvious reason to keep them: There is something inherently humanly hot about a man with a natural body.
11. Aesthetically speaking, they’re also charming. They add character. They are nice.
12. Another crucial role of pubes is that they accent the package. And by package, I’m talking dick. It just works.