The World Might Not Be Ready For A Ranking Of 11 Famous Dicks, But I Made It Anyway
Though the Statue of David stands tall and erect, his package is what kids today would call a "short king." Nevertheless, his majestic d*ck is truly unmatched, because Michelangelo knew how to expertly handle a tool.
From penises to Richards, many Dicks have popped up on BuzzFeed over the years. But I recently noticed a hole in BuzzFeed's Dick Content™ that's yet to be filled: we need an Official Dick Ranking!! That's where I come in.
As the old saying goes, "the penis mightier than the sword." So at long last, I unsheathe my ranking of history's 11* mightiest Dicks...for your pleasure.
11.Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon
10.John Mayer's "white supremacist dick"
9.Phallus impudicus, or "nature's dick"
7.Shakespeare's two Richard plays, Dick II and Dick III
4.DICK'S Sporting Goods
3.Pete Davidson's Big Dick Energy
2.The Statue of David's dick
1.Dick Van Dyke
Do you have a favorite dick? Share your dicks in the comments below! (No pictures allowed, you sickos.) 🍆👇