1. Calling someone after they text you.
If we wanted to talk to you, we wouldn’t have texted.
2. Not looking where you’re going while using your phone.
“Sorry I bumped into you, ma’am. I was busy typing ‘LOL.’”
3. Taking forever to respond to a text.
It’s not a dissertation; why is it so hard to type a quick reply? This is especially rude when someone hasn’t turned off their message receipts.
4. Constantly using your phone while having dinner/drinks/coffee with someone.
Next time go out to dinner with your text buddy instead, m’kay?
5. Responding to a text with just “ok.”
There are times when this is appropriate (“Can you pick up dog food?”), but as a response to a nice or long text? No. It is, however, less evil than “K.”
6. Talking on the phone while at a movie.
Take that shit into the lobby, man.
7. Texting while at a movie.
We paid $14 to see Mark Wahlberg and these stupid robots without any distractions, not the least of which is your phone lighting up like a Christmas tree every five minutes.
8. Overusing group texts.
Anyone who has ever been added to a group text with a bunch of randos knows how annoying these are. The worst part is that the texts keep coming and there’s no way of stopping them.
9. Leaving a voicemail.
If you’re 87 years old and calling on a landline, fine. If not, just send a text. No one wants to listen to two minutes of your ums and uhs.
10. Not leaving a voicemail.
If you felt it was so freaking important to call (instead of text), why the heck wouldn’t you leave a message?
11. Leaving someone on hold while you order.
No one wants to listen to you order your latte, bran muffin, and Sara Bareilles CD.
12. Taking photo after photo at an art museum.
How did people ever appreciate art before they could Instagram it?
13. Using your cell phone in the bathroom.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the person having a loud conversation in the stall, or the dude at the urinal peeing on his shoes. Either way, it’s gross.
14. Constantly holding your phone up at a concert.
“Put your cell phone down and put it in your pocket. You can watch shitty videos of this on YouTube anytime you want later.” —Rob Zombie
“I can’t freaking see Kanye. WTF.” —Guy behind you at concert
15. Playing games in public with the sound on.
The entire train does not need to hear you play Candy Crush.
16. Going through someone’s pics without asking.
You’re allowed to look at the one photo shown to you only. No scrolling!
17. Talking way too loudly into your phone.
Dude, they can hear you. We can ALL hear you.
18. Making everyone wait to eat their food so you can Instagram the meal.
“Wait! Don’t take a bite yet! I want to Instagram our whole spread!” Grr.
19. Having speakerphone conversations in public.
You are not that important.
20. Talking on the phone the entire time someone gives you a ride.
Unless you plan on handing your buddy 40 bucks at the end of the ride, it’s probably best not to treat them like a cab driver.
21. Taking a call when watching TV with someone and not leaving the room.
It’s a lot easier for you to move than it is for me to move the TV, capisce?
22. Not putting your phone on vibrate.
There’s really no good reason to announce every news alert, text, and call to the world. On a related note, why is that the people who do this always have the absolute worst ring tones?
23. Taking the phone out of someone’s hand when they’re trying to show you a photo.
Crane your neck, dude. Just crane your freaking neck.
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