England's cricket team had a bad day on Friday at the Cricket World Cup. Like terrible. One of the worst ever.
As England's batsmen went out to the middle it quickly became clear New Zealand were going to make short work of them.
They were sent packing for a measly score of 123 runs.
And Kiwi fast bowler Tim Southee was the destroyer. England flailed like fish and Southee stomped on them. On their heads.
English comedian and cricket tragic Andy Zaltzman recognised it wasn't a fair fight.
Not a fair contest. New Zealand have all the advantages. Population, resources, money. Pretty mountains. Quieter roads. Hobbits. The works.
It was as if England were not even playing the sport they had come to play... the sport of cricket.
In most World Cups, teams play the same sport against each other. Not sure this is happening today.
With England's bowlers sent out to defend a terrible total in walked their goddamn worst nightmare: Kiwi captain Brendan McCullum.
McCullum went about scoring the fastest half-century in World Cup history. FASTEST EVER!#@!#@!$
Bae: Come over. McCullum: I have the cricket world cup. Bae: No one's home. McCullum:
At one point he was scoring at more than four runs per ball. He was 2blazed2bfazed.
Blaze it RT @jacksongs: For those who aren’t watching…
And England's bowlers were left to contemplate whether it was even a good idea to settle in New Zealand in the first place.
It was a bloodbath.
This is close to a human rights abuse.
Legendary cricketers were quick to turn in a report card.
Well...well... Eng totally decimated by NZ! #CWC2015
And England cricket's Troll-In-Chief, Piers Morgan was dishing out a constant stream of abuse.
Afghanistan may beat England at cricket. Let's dwell on that, shall we? #NZvENG
Sorry England, you sucked today.
The Queen has spoken... #NZvENG #CWC2015 #CWC15
You were embarrassing... but there's only one thing you can do.
