1. First, Matt Damon kidnapped Jimmy and held him hostage.
2. Then we saw this clip of Jimmy Kimmel auditioning for Matt Damon’s roles with the help of several celebrities.
3. Then Robin Williams did the opening monologue.
4. Then Andy Garcia replaced Jimmy’s sidekick/security guard Guillermo.
5. Then Ben Affleck made an appearance but left because he couldn’t betray Jimmy.
6. Then Jimmy’s ex Sarah Silverman came on the show and talked about their relationship.
7. Then Nicole Kidman entered and humped Jimmy Kimmel.
8. Then Reese Witherspoon appeared and joined the show.
9. Then Demi Moore showed up.
10. Then several MORE really famous people congratulated Matt on his “new show” while ripping on Jimmy Kimmel.
11. Oh yeah, and Sheryl Crowe was there.
In The News Today
- U.S. President Barack Obama visited Oregon on Friday to meet with victims' families after last week's deadly campus shooting. Gun-rights activists protested his visit. ›
- The U.S. ended its $500 million program that trains and equips Syrian rebels in their fight against ISIS. ›
- A judge halted all eight scheduled executions in Arkansas. Inmates are challenging a law allowing the state to keep the source of its execution drugs a secret. ›