1. First, Matt Damon kidnapped Jimmy and held him hostage.
2. Then we saw this clip of Jimmy Kimmel auditioning for Matt Damon’s roles with the help of several celebrities.
3. Then Robin Williams did the opening monologue.
4. Then Andy Garcia replaced Jimmy’s sidekick/security guard Guillermo.
5. Then Ben Affleck made an appearance but left because he couldn’t betray Jimmy.
6. Then Jimmy’s ex Sarah Silverman came on the show and talked about their relationship.
7. Then Nicole Kidman entered and humped Jimmy Kimmel.
8. Then Reese Witherspoon appeared and joined the show.
9. Then Demi Moore showed up.
10. Then several MORE really famous people congratulated Matt on his “new show” while ripping on Jimmy Kimmel.
11. Oh yeah, and Sheryl Crowe was there.
Here Are The Top Stories
- The gun allegedly used by an undocumented immigrant to shoot and kill a woman on a San Francisco pier last week may have been stolen from a federal agent.
- Fox has secured the rights to make a movie about the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on marriage equality.
- Subway has suspended Jared Fogle, the weight-loss guy from their commercials, due to an FBI investigation.