10 Awesomely Bad ABC Family Christmas Movies You Must See

Just because Christmas only comes once a year doesn’t mean you can’t watch these Christmas movies. You should watch them, you won’t regret it. Actually you might, but it’s worth it.

1. Holiday In Handcuffs

What’s it about? This movie is so laughably unrealistic that YOU MUST SEE IT. The premise of the film is that Melissa Joan Hart’s character kidnaps Mario Lopez’s character and forces him to spend Christmas with her family. I think we can all guess how the film ends (spoiler alert: they end up together), which makes me laugh even more because SHE KIDNAPPED HIM. Like, she held him at gunpoint and deprived him of his freedom. Really though, the best part of this movie is the ridiculous hairdo Melissa Joan Hart has for the first 20 minutes of the film (see above photo).
Conclusion: See it!

2. Santa Baby

What’s it about? The plot of this movie is that Jenny McCarthy plays the daughter of Santa and she basically has to save Christmas because I think Santa has some walking problems due to his obesity? In real life, she is an exec at a powerful company, along with her evil boyfriend. She brings said boyfriend to the North Pole with her (classic bad move) and then he tries to sell the idea of putting a mall on the North Pole to the other executives at the company where they both work. Never mind that he has to try and explain that the North Pole is real, that’s minor. She realizes his bad ways and foils his plans, while falling in love with her childhood friend who is also the mailman at the North Pole. I did not know there were mailmen at the North Pole, and if it’s true, I’m sorry that they get no credit at all for anything.
Conclusion: See it!

3. Santa Baby 2

What’s it about? Yes, this is the sequel to Santa Baby! It starts off one year after the other movie left us, so it’s Christmas again. Oh, and Dean Mcdermott is in this one (Tori Spelling’s husband) as the same love interest, but obviously the other actor had more important Christmas movies to be in. In this movie Jenny is called upon to be the NEW Santa, which basically goes against every Christmas story ever because Santa is not a former playboy cover girl, SMH. Anyway, of course she does not want to be santa, because she’d rather work 100 hours a week at her job not spreading joy, rather than eat cookies and wear a comfy red velvet tracksuit all year (which is my dream). Also, there is an evil girl who wants to take over as Santa and who basically ends up almost ruining Christmas. Jenny saves the day once again, revealing that the evil girl is actually a rogue elf who thinks she deserves more in life! In the end no one cares at all that this stupid elf almost ruined Christmas, I would have preferred she was banished from the North Pole forever.
Conclusion: See it!

4. Desperately Seeking Santa

What’s it about? Christmas movies love mall themes, and I do not know why. The premise of this movie is that the main character Jennifer has to increase profits at the mall she overseas, or else it will be shut down. To do so, she creates a contest to find a sexy Santa (played by Nick Zano, who I am just now realizing is really hot and adorable) to increase revenue. There is an evil boyfriend in this movie too — who has a goatee, so that should say it all about his personality. In the end, Jennifer realizes her boyfriend is a huge douche, and ends up falling in love with Nick Zano. Together they save the mall, YAY, and the stupid goateed boyfriend sulks in a room somewhere.
Conclusion: See it!

5. Christmas Caper

What’s it about? I know I said Christmas In Handcuffs was laughably unrealistic, but that was before I saw this one and nearly cried in my bed from laughing so hard about the improbability of any of this happening. First of all, Shannon Doherty plays the main character who happens to be a thief. Not like a thief that steals candy bars from drug stores. I’m talking a thief that breaks into homes and steals DIAMONDS and then sells those diamonds on the black market and does other bad things like that. Shannon’s sister is stuck in the Bahamas with her husband and ends up calling upon her thieving sister to watch her children until they return. Since Shannon is literally on a wanted list for STEALING A DIAMOND, she returns to her hometown to lay low and watch her niece and nephew. During this time she teaches her nephew how to steal things more effectively (I was actually shaking my head while this was happening) and also breaks into everyone’s house in the neighborhood on Christmas Eve and takes their Christmas presents. Finally she comes around and before she gets arrested, spends Christmas morning with her family who doesn’t seem to care that she is a felon. In fact the sister would LOVE to have her come watch the kids again, maybe in 6-8 years though.
Conclusion: See it!

6. Christmas Cupid

What’s it about? Christina Milian stars in this movie about a workaholic PR girl who just can’t seem to find the Christmas Spirit. When her wild party girl client dies, she is visited by her ghost and is told she’ll be visited by three ex-boyfriends to show her Christmas past, Christmas present and Christmas future. Oh yeah, this is A Christmas Carol but with Chad Michael Murray. Ashley Benson, who played the ghost of the dead actress, turned out to be a really likeable character, and I found myself very emotional when she “passed on” at the end of the movie. All I could think is, I hope Lindsay Lohan changes her ways.
Conclusion: See it!

7. Snowglobe

What’s it about? This is the second ABC family Christmas movie that starred Christina Milian. I had no idea she was such a Christmas fanatic, and it was almost reassuring to see her in another Christmas role. In This movie she plays a Brooklyn girl with a crazy family. She just wants to get away for Christmas (her favorite holiday) and not deal with all their antics. Her accent is so perfectly “listen to my natural brooklyn accent” that it’s almost soothing. One night she recieves a package, and inside is a snowglobe. That’s right, she shakes the snowglobe and is then transported INTO the snowglobe. It’s a lovely Pleasantville-type town that she falls in love with and visits everyday. Soon she spends more time in the snowglobe than in real life, and on Christmas day she gets stuck in the snowglobe until she realizes that her family is most important and she gets freed. The biggest problem I had with this movie is Christina was always wearing short sleeve shirts while in the snowglobe, where it was supposed to be snowy and cold. WASN’T SHE CHILLY??
Conclusion: See it!

8. Christmas Do-Over

What’s it about? This is basically a Christmas version of Groundhog Day. (Silly movie-makers, no remake will ever be as good as the original!) In it, Jay Mohr has to relive Christmas Day over and over again until he learns the error of his ways, becomes a better father and wins his ex-wife back. He does it all, but it only took him what felt like 78 repetitive days to do so.
Conclusion: See it!

9. Christmas In Wonderland

What’s it about? Remember how I said Christmas movies love mall themes? Well, this one takes place entirely in a mall. It revolves around a dad (Patrick Swayze, RIP) who takes his kids to the ginormous town mall the day before Christmas. They have just moved from L.A. to Canada, and hate the place. In the mall, the older brother tells his younger siblings to stay put, he wants to go off and have fun alone (classic big brother move). In that time, the two younger siblings find a bag of 200,000 Canadian dollars, and then go on a shopping spree. Turns out the money is counterfeit and the three criminals who lost the bag are running around the mall trying to find the kids. There’s really only one thing worth noting about this movie: 1) The mall Santa looks like Dumbledore, not Santa. That’s all. Also, to really express how bad this movie is, I’ll tell you an actual line in the film, said from a brother to his younger sister: “Stop doing that, you look like a retard.”
Conclusion: See it!

10. The Mistle-Tones

What’s it about? This movie is almost hard to take seriously because Tori Spelling sings in it. There’s is not much else to say about this one except that if they wanted us to believe she and Tia Mowry were actually singing, they would have matched up the audio to the lips a bit better. This is a must see film no matter what because, how could you NOT want to see it??
Conclusion Do not see it. I know I just told you to see it, but I lied.

And here is one that actually is just plain old good:

11. 12 Dates Of Christmas

What’s it about? This is actually a very amusing holiday movie — 8/10, would watch again. Amy smart plays a quirky girl who, much like Jay Mohr in Christmas Do-Over, has to re-live Christmas Eve over and over again. Mostly she has to go on a date with a guy she was set up with, played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar and not mess it up ( because they are meant to be together, ya know?) Finally she gets the day right, learns what is really important and she makes it past midnight to Christmas Day.
Conclusion: See it! If you are going to see any of these movies, make it this one.

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