21 Reasons Bearded Men Are Better

The evidence is overwhelming.

1. I can’t believe we even need to have this debate. I mean, just look at this guy.

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2. And this guy.

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3. And this guy.

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4. But OK, let’s build our argument. Throughout history, beards have conferred prestige.

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5. And gravitas.

By Matthew Inman.

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6. For many of the careers that matter, beards are practically a prerequisite.

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7. Plus, bearded men are more attractive. This has been proved by science.

That’s according to a study by the University Of New South Wales. The optimum level of face fuzz was found to be heavy stubble: ten days’ growth.

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8. A decent beard can transform a pasty nerd into a rugged hunk.

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9. A baby-faced dweeb into a revolutionary.

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10. Some random dude into the director of Star Wars.

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11. A tie-wearing nobody into an operatic powerhouse.

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12. And a past-his-prime actor…

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Into an Oscar winner.

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13. There are practical benefits too. Growing a beard means you can say good-bye to one of mankind’s most tedious tasks.

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14. Other things you can do with a beard? Well, it gives you something to stroke while you’re thinking.

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15. You can use it to accentuate your insults.

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16. Intimidate your enemies.

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17. And enchant women.

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18. And if it’s big enough, you can sell advertising on it.

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Admittedly not all types of beard are equally desirable.

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There are strict rules of etiquette that must be observed.

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It’s certainly possible to go too far.

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(If you’re not sure where the limit is, this guide should help.)

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And, OK, the hirsute look doesn’t work for absolutely everyone.

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Plus, once you’ve grown one, it doesn’t always have quite the impact you’d imagined.

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19. But still. If you can grow a beard, you should. Pity those poor souls who can’t.

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(They can try and fake it, but they’re not fooling anyone.)

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20. Truth is, the benefits of having a hairy face are pretty much endless — as any partner of a bearded man will attest.

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21. In conclusion, then. Beards, f**k yeah!

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Luke Lewis is the executive editor of BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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