1. To the Nick Offermans,
2. And Ryan Goslings of the world.
4. We get it: Facial hair is SO IN right now.
You can get away with just about anything these days, as long as it’s bushy and on your face.
But growing a beard is hard, and downright impossible for some of us.
Sidney Crosby’s 8-week-old 2009 NHL playoff beard.
And on top of bad genetics, we’ve got Beard Anxiety.
From an early age, we’re presented with well-bearded role models.
7. Men with legacies to aspire to and majestic facial hair to emulate.
8. Truly great men.
9. We spent our childhoods eagerly anticipating the day our faces would sprout lush, robust beards.
We played dress up, hoping that we wouldn’t be one of the genetically unfortunate when the time came.
10. One of our friends ALWAYS started growing a mustache unnaturally early.
We wanted to sport a kick-ass goatee, or mustache, or ANYTHING, but couldn’t.
11. When we hit our early 20s, we had waited long enough. Scruffy patchwork or not, we would HAVE. OUR. BEARDS.
But as we got older, we realized that not all great men have to have epic beards.
The President has even admitted that he can’t grow a decent beard or mustache.