Celebrity

Retta Is The Only Person You Need To Follow On Twitter

She’s mastered the artform. Sorry, everyone else.

1. This is Retta. She plays Donna on “Parks and Recreation.”

Theo Wargo / Getty Images

2. And she’s amazing.

3. This is Retta on Twitter, @unfoRETTAble.

She’s perfect, and you should follow her.

4. Retta is comfortable in her own skin.

5. She’s self-aware.

6. She’s honest.

Who else upon hearing mention of kegels in a film immediately begins kegeling? #Guilty #KeepItTightKeepItRight

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

7. Like, REALLY honest.

You know it’s freezing when your nips hurt. I could cut glass with these things.

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

8. But most importantly, Retta is the QUEEN of livetweeting.

9. She watches “Smash.”

NBC

Derek says he wants something raw and OF COURSE Karen thinks to call Too Angry 4 Life Frick & Dead Arms Frack. #PuhLease #SMASH

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

I saw Gypsy at a community theater in Temecula and it had more sex appeal than this number. This 2-step is NOT arousing. #SMASH

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

Um, when did they rehearse ANY of this???? #TheVampireDiaries is more believable than this episode of #SMASH.

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

13. She watches “Girls.”

HBO

Omigod sex in a graveyard w/a 19 year-old wearing denim shorts is 2 of my sex nightmares rolled into 1!! #GIRLS

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

How MANY times am I gonna have to see Hannah pee in this episode? #GIRLS

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

If Jessa was my friend (she’d never be) & left me at her dad’s raggedy ass crib after shaming me into eating bunny meat, I’d cut her. #GIRLS

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

17. She watches “Scandal.”

NBC

Mellie ain’t slick. Her scheming is going to come back and bite her in her conniving ass. #SCANDAL

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

Careful Fitz. U gon’ burn a hole through Liv’s dress if u keep staring like that. Or is that what you’re hoping? Too late sucka. #SCANDAL

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

Ima need Huck to shower. #SCANDAL

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

21. She watches “The Walking Dead.”

AMC

I feel like one-eye coulda done a better job with that eye patch. #Lazy #TheWalkingDead

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

Why Rick so stubborn? Y’all gon need some back up son + all the other black folk on the show are dead. Help a bruthuh out. #MoNegroesPlease

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

Just b/c it’s end of days don’t mean we should be racially insensitive. #KoreanNotChinese #TheWalkingDead

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

25. She watches “Downton Abbey.”

PBS

Aw shit! Mr. Bates lookin’ dapper like a muhfuhkuh. #SayWord #DowntonAbbey

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

LOLOLOLOL Omigod did the earl just say that the lads at Eton were ‘bout it, ‘bout it?!?!?! #OverHereRolling #ICant #DowntonAbbey

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

If this fool doesn’t stop w/ this ridiculous dining room tutorial of cricket …someone’s gonna crack his “delicate but strong” ass. #Downton

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

29. She watches “The Vampire Diaries.”

The CW

“What’s Aramaic?” Oh Jeremy. If y’all went to as many classes as ya do dances you’d know the answer to that. #TheVampireDiaries

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

Wow this dude’s got ALL KINDS of gadgets. He’s the Bruce Wayne of vamp hunters. #TheVampireDiaries

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU??????? Did this bitch just- I’m at a loss, I can’t even, was he wearing, WHAAAAAT?!?! #TheVampireDiaries

— unfoRETTAble (@Retta)

33. Following Retta is like watching TV with Retta.

And she’s probably not going to come over and watch TV with you, so this is the next best thing.

35. Just remember, she doesn’t want to hear your complaints.

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