25. Barry Farber
Engaged to: Rachel
Pros: He’s a dentist, so we can assume he makes a decent living.
Cons: Everything else. He cheats on Rachel with Mindy, cheats on Mindy with Rachel, and eventually cheats on Mindy with someone else. (They get a tasteful offscreen divorce.)
24. Emily Waltham
Pros: Genuinely seems to care about Ross. Cool accent.
Cons: A total stick in the mud. She also forbids Ross and Rachel from being friends, which — while totally fair given the circumstances — makes us hate her a lot. Worst marriage ever.
23. Carol Willick
Married to: Ross
Pros: Loving wife to Susan, doting mom to Ben.
Cons: Terrible to Ross. It’s not Carol’s fault she didn’t realize she was a lesbian when she and Ross got married, but there’s no reason she has to be so nasty to him after the divorce. On the other hand, imagine being married to Ross.
22. Janice Goralnik
Pros: Well, she’s definitely the most consistent of all the significant others, appearing in all 10 seasons of Friends. She’s also well intentioned, so there’s that.
Cons: Oh. My. God. That voice is like if Fran Drescher decided to take it up a notch. Janice isn’t necessarily a bad girlfriend, but she’s seriously annoying, and she always manages to overstay her welcome.
Pros: He’s a police officer. That’s sexy, right?
Cons: He shot a bird. In general, Gary seemed to not have the best handle on gun safety, and if you’re going to date someone who’s packing heat, you kind of want to make sure he knows what he’s doing.
Pros: She’s a kinky professional! What’s not to love?
Cons: As nice as she is to Rachel, she’s awful to her assistant Sophie. Also, she’s not always reliable when it comes to handcuffs, and she doesn’t look both ways when crossing the street. (She’s killed by a cab.)
19. Fun Bobby
Pros: I mean, the name says it all, right? Everyone loves Fun Bobby.
Cons: We never really get to see that side of him, though. When Fun Bobby first shows up, he’s depressed over the death of his grandfather. In his second appearance, we find out he’s kind of a serious alcoholic. Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted?
18. Janine LaCroix
Pros: Um. She’s really, really hot. She can also dance, and she’s willing to put up with Joey’s living habits. I mean, she actually lives with Joey.
Cons: But dating a roommate is always kind of a mixed bag. More importantly, Janine doesn’t like Monica and Chandler and can’t handle hanging out with them. That’s not OK.
17. Mark Robinson
Pros: He cares about Rachel and he gets what she does, since they’re deskmates at Bloomingdales.
Cons: Ross’ paranoia kind of ruined Mark, through no fault of his own. But Mark did kind of make the moves fast, and whether or not Rachel was thinking about cheating, Mark totally wanted to make it happen. That jerk.
Pros: She’s pretty, fun, and willing to make daring hair choices.
Cons: She’s also frequently bald, which hey, is a personal preference. The real problem with Bonnie is that she’s kind of a non-entity who pops up during one of the periods where Rachel is trying to win Ross back. Without her shaved head, she’d be totally forgettable.
Pros: Passionate and weird in just the right way. As evidenced by his Halloween costume, Eric is also kind of a nerd, whose quirkiness suits Phoebe perfectly.
Cons: Sadly, he’s way too hung up on Ursula to be a good match for Phoebe. And if you can’t tell the difference between the Buffay twins, you don’t really deserve to date either of them.
Pros: He’s Italian and great at sex.
Cons: That’s about all he has going for him. But honestly, that’s plenty to earn him this spot on the list.
13. Elizabeth Stevens
Pros: She’s young (see also: Cons), which makes her a nice counterpart to Ross, who acts way older than he needs to.
Cons: She’s his student. Eventually he realizes that, moral issues aside, she’s just too immature for him. Oh, and her dad is Bruce Willis, and he’s terrifying.
12. Kate Miller
Pros: She and Joey have natural chemistry, appearing together in a play. She’s not sold on him initially, but Kate does eventually fall for Joey’s charms.
Cons: She’s dating someone else when they meet, and she still sleeps with Joey. Also, the play is a disaster, which isn’t entirely her fault, but still. Where’s the chemistry?
Pros: Mona is a good step for Ross — a mature adult relationship. She’s also very understanding, continuing to date Ross even after she learns that he’s the father of Rachel’s baby.
Cons: The timing is all off, however. Ross is the asshole in this relationship, but for viewers, Mona just becomes a nuisance, a character you kind of can’t believe he’s still dating. It’s a relief when they finally break up.
10. Pete Becker
Pros: Very devoted to Monica. Also very wealthy. Monica would never date someone just for the money, but Pete’s persistence (combined with his ability to fly her to Rome) pays off in the end.
Cons: He’s stupidly into becoming the Ultimate Fighting Champion. It’s a bizarre goal and also something that makes him impossible to date. If he had just stuck to producing software and making millions, maybe he’d be marriage material.
Pros: An intellectual equal, which is rare for Ross. She was also unequivocally into him and showed it — exactly what he needed after all that inaction with Rachel. She’s pretty adorable overall.
Cons: Julie often seems annoying, but that’s really just because we’re seeing her through Rachel’s jealousy. And yeah, the fact that she’s one more impediment to Ross and Rachel being together does make her a bit of a pain.
8. Tag Jones
Pros: Ridiculously cute. Like, so cute Rachel promotes him even though he’s not the best man for the job. Overall, he’s just kind of a sweetheart. And how could you not love that face!
Cons: He’s too young and immature. Just like Ross’ ex Elizabeth, Tag looks good on paper but eventually proves himself to be too much of a kid. Also note how fast he fled when he found out Rachel was pregnant.
Dated: Joey and Chandler
Pros: There’s just something awesome about a character who is able to date two of the main dudes and still come off looking great. Kathy may not have been a good match for Joey, but she was perfect for Chandler. And she was so honest about her feelings.
Cons: She may have cheated, but probably not so much. Moving from friend to friend is also not the most admirable behavior, although it’s not her fault she fell for Chandler — and she made such a good case for it!
6. Gavin Mitchell
Pros: Though kind of a dick at first, Gavin turns out to be really charming and a great match for Rachel. Plus, they have so much to talk about, given that they worked the exact same job. (Awkward.)
Cons: There’s a bit of a rivalry there that makes for sparks but also puts them both in an awkward position. Inevitably, Rachel’s just not that into him — or rather, she’s too confused about Ross to pursue anything.
5. Charlie Wheeler
Dated: Joey and Ross
Pros: Beautiful and brilliant. She never made sense with Joey, but it was cute that he tried. She and Ross, on the other hand, were perfect for each other. Again, it was nice to see him date an intellectual equal.
Cons: She hurt Joey and Ross. Hey, maybe she’s not the best at commitment. But it’s not like you’d turn down Greg Kinnear either.
4. Joshua Burgin
Pros: He has a vulnerability that makes him sweet. And he appreciates Rachel’s fashion advice. I mean, he must if he hired her as his personal shopper.
Cons: He’s recently divorced which means baggage. It’s Joshua who ultimately decides the relationship is moving too fast. (In real life, Tate Donovan and Jennifer Aniston were in the process of breaking up. How fun for them!)
3. Richard Burke
Pros: Kind, dapper, and a great provider. Sure, he’s a little bit older, but it’s Tom fucking Selleck, OK? He never stops being sexy. And he loves Monica so much, despite all her neuroses and Monica-isms. Bonus points for a mustache that never goes out of style.
Cons: He doesn’t want kids. (And why would you, if you’d already produced perfection in the form of Michael Vartan?) That’s about it, but it’s a dealbreaker for Monica. Tragic, really.
Pros: David is THE BEST. (Well, he’s the second-best, but still.) He’s so sweet and nerdy and absurdly lovable. I don’t envy Phoebe having to choose between him and Mike (see below).
Cons: He moved to Minsk for several years. But it was for work! Give him a break.
1. Mike Hannigan
Pros: The perfect man. As if being Paul Rudd weren’t enough, Mike evolves throughout his relationship with Phoebe, completely adapting to her crazy without losing himself in the process. It’s kind of beautiful to watch.
Cons: No flaws detected. I want to marry Mike, too.
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