1. “Look What’s Happened to Rosemary’s Baby”
Sequel to: Rosemary’s Baby
Mia Farrow knew better than to return for Look What’s Happened to Rosemary’s Baby, so Patty Duke took over the role. The film follows Adrian in his youth and adulthood, because the intentionally vague ending of the original movie apparently left things too open-ended for some.
2. “The Sting II”
Sequel to: The Sting
While billed as a sequel, The Sting II is more of a reboot, bringing back the original characters with new names and new actors playing them. That doesn’t, of course, make it any less superfluous. Paul Newman and Robert Redford get downgraded to Jackie Gleason and Mac Davis.
3. “Staying Alive”
Sequel to: Saturday Night Fever
Because what a disco classic really needs is an ’80s sequel. To Staying Alive’s credit, John Travolta does return as Tony Manero. Don’t get too excited, though. This sequel was written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, but Rocky it is not. Entertainment Weekly called it the Worst Sequel Ever.
4. “Jaws: The Revenge”
Sequel to: Jaws
Jaws: The Revenge isn’t the only Jaws sequel — it’s just the worst. It has a staggering 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and it’s mostly remembered for the tagline “This time, it’s personal.” (Yeah, it’s personal for the shark.) Also Michael Caine is in this, and that’s sad for everyone.
5. “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”
Sequel to: Wall Street
You probably remember Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps — it came out in 2010, prompting plenty of, “What the hell is Oliver Stone thinking?” reactions. While not nearly as bad as some of the other films on this list, it can’t hold a candle to the 1987 classic. Also let’s stop putting Shia LaBeouf in sequels to beloved movies.
6. “Beyond the Poseidon Adventure”
Sequel to: The Poseidon Adventure
Regardless of how you feel about the original — shut up, it’s amazing — the sequel is such a miserable attempt to drag the story out further. It doesn’t work. The Poseidon Adventure puts its characters through hell, killing many, before the triumphant conclusion. Who wants to see more of the passengers’ ordeals?
7. “It Runs in the Family”
Sequel to: A Christmas Story
That awful font should tell you everything you need to know about this ill-advised sequel, which follows up with the Parker family. Here, Ralphie is recast as Kieran Culkin, but not even the Culkin charm can make up for the lack of charm in a Christmas-free sequel.
8. “Psycho IV: The Beginning”
Sequel to: Psycho
Hitchcock’s Psycho inspired several sequels (and one really awful reboot), but Psycho IV is perhaps the most bizarre. This is the one in which Norman Bates, still played by poor Anthony Perkins, calls in to a radio station to confess more of his crimes. Here’s hoping the upcoming Bates Motel will be less painful.
9. “The Birds II: Land’s End”
Sequel to: The Birds
But why. Psycho isn’t the only Hitchcock movie to suffer the sequel treatment. The most notable thing about The Birds II is that Tippi Hedren returns playing a different character than she did in the original. She later said, “It’s absolutely horrible. It embarrasses me horribly.”
10. “Grease 2”
Sequel to: Grease
Though panned by critics and viewers alike, Grease 2 is actually a camp classic, thanks to the truly absurd songs. (“Reproduction,” “Do It for Our Country,” and the dreadful “Charade,” to name a few.) It’s not a good musical, but it’s definitely worth checking out if you have a healthy appreciation for trash.
11. “The Last Days of Patton”
Sequel to: Patton
For those who loved Patton but were sad we never got to see the esteemed general die. Somehow the TV movie The Last Days of Patton got George C. Scott to reprise his famous role. Why the film chose to focus on the last few months of Patton’s life is anyone’s guess.
12. “Road House 2: Last Call”
Sequel to: Road House
Ah, yes, the 2006 sequel to the iconic 1989 film. The latter has little bearing on the former, although the main character here is the son of Patrick Swayze’s character from the first movie. Also, it’s direct-to-DVD, which alas, isn’t yet a sign of quality. Bonus points for the inclusion of Jake Busey.
13. “Lawrence After Arabia”
Sequel to: Lawrence of Arabia
The great Ralph Fiennes steps into Lawrence’s shoes in this TV movie special. His Lawrence is more intense then the original, but also a lot less flirty and perverse. Aw, what’s the fun in that? Bring back O.G. Lawrence. At least Ralph Fienes is good, in matter of speaking.
14. “The Two Jakes”
Sequel to: Chinatown
How do you follow up a movie as impeccable as Chinatown? You don’t really, or you try anyway because you’re foolish. Again, The Two Jakes isn’t terrible, but forget it Jake, it’s not Chinatown On the plus side it has a killer cast: Nicholson, Harvey Keitel, Madeline Stowe. Such a shame to squander those big names.
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