Every year I hear about how classic The Muppet Christmas Carol is, and I have to admit to folks that I've never seen it!
Until now, that is! This week I got into the festive spirit and watched The Muppet Christmas Carol for the very first time. From creepy baby doll ghosts, to discovering my fondness for Rizzo, here's how the experience went for me.
1. When I saw "In loving memory of Jim Henson and Richard Hunt" in the opening credits I thought, aw no, when did they die? Then I realised that also happened before I was born. I am clearly ~very~ out of the loop on this whole franchise.
2. Is The Great Gonzo like The Great Gatsby? Let's hope his story isn't similarly tragic!
3. "Fozziwig" is excellent wordplay.
4. I love how every character has a Christmas Carol name except for Rizzo the rat who is just called Rizzo. Maybe he's too much of a diva to play anyone but himself?
5. The pig muppets finishing a meal and immediately going "Let's have lunch!" is such a mood.
6. Ooh a fourth wall break! I like that Gonzo is narrating as Dickens, although Rizzo is NOT having it.
7. If I know anything about this movie, it's that Michael Caine insisted on playing Scrooge completely seriously as if all the Muppets were humans. Apparently, director Brian Henson loved it.
8. Ooh a song! I somehow I forgot this was a musical. I love that it's just about how much Scrooge sucks.
9. "Even the vegetables don't like him"... Oof, a scathing insult!
10. Singers – "there must be a sweet man inside..."
Me: Really?
Them: "Nah!"
Me: Oh.
11. Oh no Gonzo, don't use Rizzo to wipe the windoooow. 😭
12. Something about Michael Caine casually yeeting a muppet is so funny to me. He didn't even say a word, he just picked him up, opened the door, and chucked him.
13. I know this is obvious to say, but Scrooge is ~really~ savage towards his employees.
14. I love that the bookkeeper rats think an impromptu hula dance is the standard response to being yelled at by your boss.
15. Scrooge's nephew isn't a muppet? I thought everyone but Michael Caine would be. So can muppets and humans share DNA? Do muppets even have DNA? Am I overthinking this?
16. Now Gonzo is using Rizzo to blow the fire. Why does he keep using him as an implement? Let him watch the story in peace!
17. Scrooge really said poor people should hurry up and die to "decrease the surplus population". Wow.
18. The bookkeeper rats are so spineless, they're getting on my last nerve. Stop making Kermit face the scary boss alone!
19. One of them is like, "it was the frog's idea" the second Scrooge sounds annoyed. Didn't you lot suggest it??
20. Gonzo – I mean Dickens – is really committed to this story. He just popped back up to keep narrating after falling off a cart. (Is it terrible to admit I was kinda happy to see him get hurt this time instead of Rizzo?)
21. I know I'm showing obvious favouritism, but Rizzo questioning literally everything is 100% me. Is he in the regular Muppets? I honestly love him.
22. Ooh, Scrooge just saw his first ghost. Time to get spooky!
23. "There's more gravy than of grave about you" is stellar wordplay, I love it. And apparently this line is from the original novel! More cheesy than gravy, eh Dickens?
24. "Marley and Marley" is kind of a bop.
25. I wonder if the Marleys died together or just met up in hell? What killed them in the first place?
26. Pahahaha, Rizzo kisses Gonzo's nose for no reason! I love that goofy little rat.
27. If Gonzo is an omniscient narrator, why does he need to break into Scrooge's yard to see what's happening? Let's keep it consistent, people!
28. Scrooge is surprisingly accepting of the whole ghost situation.
29. Nooooo, the past-ghost-child is SO creepy. Is she a Muppet? I bloody hope not.
30. I've discovered that classic Muppets were considered for the ghosts, but they ultimately decided to make the ghosts like Dickens describes them. The past one is supposed to be a mix of an old man and a child, but it just looks like a creepy baby doll here.
31. Can Scrooge not see/hear Gonzo and Rizzo? They literally lasso him and then yell very loudly while hanging from him.
32. Also, is the rope tied to Scrooge's leg or...? Cos it seemed to go inside his robe.
33. So there were no muppet kids at Scrooge's old school... Is there a separate school for muppets? Is this muppet-human society divided somehow?
34. Wait, no, there's a muppet headmaster – but still no muppet students?
35. Does Scrooge remember Rizzo and Gonzo falling off that shelf while his headmaster was talking, or have they changed the past by being there? Again, I might be overthinking this.
36. I just knew the headmaster would say "the American way". Lol at Gonzo correcting him.
37. Now Gonzo has accidentally set Rizzo's tail on fire. When will my boy know peace?
38. The chef Muppet has human hands? WHY DOES THE CHEF MUPPET HAVE HUMAN HANDS??
39. Is Belle meant to be Fozziwig's daughter or just a party guest? I'm so confused!
40. The Ghost of Christmas Present doesn't even fit into his own magic room! Or is it Scrooge's room that he magically decorated? Either way he probably should've shrunk down earlier.
41. "You're a little absent-minded, spirit" ... "No I'm a LARGE absent-minded spirit!" These jokes are so punny, I love them.
42. Look at Scrooge cracking jokes back! He's really vibing with this ghost.
43. Scrooge starts enjoying Christmas so quickly after a lifetime of hating it. Then again, how could you not with this jolly spirit around?
44. I really like the song "It Feels Like Christmas", I hope Scrooge joins in singing by the end!
45. Is Fred related to the animal muppets who are at his house on Christmas? Or are they just friends visiting? I can't stop wondering about human-muppet relationships (a sentence I never thought I'd write).
46. Poor Scrooge really got into that 20 questions-style guessing game before realising it's a joke about him.
47. Ayyyy it's Miss Piggy! One of the few Muppets I ~actually~ recognise.
48. Damn, she can't even be bothered to tell her twins apart. Also, why are they wearing eyeshadow??
49. Kermit's like, "I'm grateful to Mr Scrooge for giving me a job". Meanwhile, Miss Piggy is dragging Scrooge relentlessly while the twins nod along. She really isn't about taking that high road.
50. Okay, so muppets must have some kind of DNA for the Cratchit kids to look just like their parents. Are they all pig/frog hybrids like the dronkey kids in Shrek?
51. Oof, the Present spirit threw Scrooge's words about "surplus population" back at him. That's what you get for having bad takes.
51. The Ghost of Christmas Future has arrived! Time to get spooky again!
52. Which Muppet is this? Is there an ominous hooded figure on The Muppet Show? Even the omniscient Gonzo is scared of this guy.
53. There's a creepy spider Muppet fencing dead people's stolen belongings. Are these all from a kids' show??
54. How are Scrooge's hands not freezing brushing snow off that cold gravestone? Maybe he's protected by ghost magic, or maybe I'm just projecting because I'm always cold.
55. He already guessed that the creepy spider and its friends were talking about his death, so why is he shocked that this is his grave?
56. Honestly that whole grave scene was heartbreaking, but at least he learnt his lesson! He's so glad to have another chance on Christmas morning!
57. Yay Scrooge is singing! "Thankful Heart" has such a nice montage of him handing out gifts, but Fred looked so baffled to get one!
58. Michael Caine looks extra tall amongst all the Muppets, but I just realised he's taller than all the humans too.
59. How tall is Michael Caine?
60. Google says 6'1 for anyone who's interested!
61. Why does Scrooge pretend he's still mean to trick Kermit like that, hasn't he suffered enough? Just tell him you like Christmas now!
62. Miss Piggy was ready to throw hands with this man, but she did a full 180 in maybe the best exchange of the film...
"And therefore, I am about to raise your salary!"
"And I am about to raise you right off the pavement... pardon?"
63. Ayyy the whole gang is here! It's nice that they brought all the characters together for Christmas dinner, although they kinda just invited themselves in. At least they brought a ton of food!
64. Wow, Scrooge stole Tiny Tim's one iconic line. Maybe he hasn't changed that much.
65. Michael Caine actually has a nice singing voice. I'm gonna have that finale song stuck in my head for ages now! 🎵 "It's true wherever you find love, it feels like Chriiiiistmaaaas..." 🎶
Overall, I really enjoyed that! This film is almost 30 years old, but still a true Christmas classic. God bless us, everyone!
