Hello. We are Kristin and Leo, and sometimes we like to talk about fashion. Today, we're talking about everyone's favorite stretchy pants merchant, American Apparel.
Kristin: Don't you hate it when you just want to play soccer, but all your shorts are made of trash bags?
Leo: It's mathematically proven that when you spell cool with a K, you increase something's coolness one million-fold.
Kristin: And increase sales.
Leo: Please stay tuned for our forthcoming book release: Leo and Kristin Do Business. We are on the cover wearing oversize suits, shrugging.
Leo: "Provides full support." Yeah right. For what? One nipple?
Kristin: I feel like this is what every middle school principal is afraid kids will wear to school if there is no dress code. Just 3D glowing butts all day.
Leo: I mean. This is what I wore every day of eighth grade so I don't know what you're talking about.
Kristin: I didn't know they were making a DJ Batman movie.
Leo: Yeah, this dude's name is DJ Gym Time.
Kristin: I'd also like to point out that the holes in this cardigan render it useless.
Leo: It's a sartorial oxymoron.
Kristin: It's a cardigan for people who can't commit to cardigans. LIKE DJ BATMAN.
Kristin: "Hi, I need a pair of tights that will effectively discourage anyone from trying to learn the English language, please!"
Leo: I would wear these and be like, "THAT'S RIGHT, I'M A WRITER. I'M SO WRITERY THAT I GOT THE HOSE TO PROVE IT. Now go buy one million of my books."
Kristin: What kind of horrible monster would put a pocket on like that?
Leo: Maybe this was just an accident and then they were like, "Well I guess we gotta do 'em all like this."
Kristin: Maybe, but counterpoint: Send this shirt back to hell where it belongs.
