1. The story of Thanksgiving, when you're a kid: a beautiful tale of two groups coming together in the spirit of cooperation and thanks.
The story of Thanksgiving, when you're an adult: really awkward, now that you know how badly the pilgrims treated the Native Americans.
2. Thanksgiving Eve, when you're a kid: Celebrate good times, there's no homework due for days!
Thanksgiving Eve, when you're an adult: Agonize over whether or not you're too lazy to party with your high school friends.
3. Thanksgiving morning, when you're a kid: Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, or GTFO out of the TV room.
Thanksgiving morning, when you're an adult: Everyone needs to GTFO out of your room, because you are too hungover from seeing your high school friends.
4. The cost of the food, when you're a kid: You have no idea, and you don't care.
The cost of the food, when you're an adult: You realize just how much money is being spent on one meal.
5. Eating dinner in the afternoon, as a kid: Why aren't we eating dinner earlier?
Eating dinner in the afternoon, as an adult: being super excited about having the rest of the day to sleep it off.
6. The meal prep, when you're a kid: Some adults spend half a day yelling at each other in a kitchen, and at the end, food magically happens.
The meal prep, when you're an adult: The friend least likely to give everyone Salmonella makes the turkey, everyone else brings beer.
7. Well-meaning family members, when you are a kid: "You are so adorable!"
Well-meaning family members, when you are an adult: "You are so single."
8. Obnoxious relatives, when you're a kid: having no choice but to tolerate your drunk grandpa.
Obnoxious relatives, when you're an adult: being able to drink until grandpa's funny.
9. Thanksgiving Day football, when you're a kid: You don't care who's playing, IT'S FOOTBALL!
Look, it's football! In the middle of a weekday! That's crazy! FOOTBALL!
Thanksgiving day football, as an adult: You would almost prefer to be at work than have to watch the Cowboys play.
10. Food anxiety, when you're a kid: What if there isn't enough tasty food, and I'm stuck eating vegetables?
Food anxiety, when you're an adult: What if there aren't enough vegan options?
11. The drumstick, when you're a kid: If I don't get the drumstick, I will probably cut someone.
The drumstick, when you're an adult: No thanks, I'll take the cut of turkey that requires the least amount of work, please?
12. Drinking, when you're a kid: Why would you want alcohol when there is PIE?
Drinking, when you're an adult: How could you want pie without pairing it with alcohol?
13. The kids' table, when you're a kid: the place where kid conversation and behavior runs free.
The kids' table, when you're an adult: the table where no one will stop talking about their kids.
14. How long the meal lasts, when you're a kid: 15 minutes, tops.
How long the meal lasts, when you're an adult: for as long as you can possibly keep drinking.
15. Leftovers, when you're a kid: By Friday, you are sick to death of turkey.
Leftovers, when you're an adult: YES! Free FOOOOOD FOREVER!!
