1. 1. You are not afraid of spoilers, because you are the one who spoils!
(And everyone’s kind of mad at you about it.)
2. 2. You’re constantly annoyed with everyone for not being caught up on every series.
Great, now we have nothing to talk about. EVENING RUINED.
3. 3. You act sheepish when your roommates complain about the internet being so slow all the time.
5. 5. You cancel plans because being four hours away from finishing a show counts as being “busy.”
6. 6. To you, people who love a show that they’ve only watched one episode of are like people who love a book that they’ve only read one page of.
How… is that… possible?
7. 7. Even if a show becomes a mess, you can’t accept that it’s too terrible to watch anymore.
It’s gonna get better next episode/season/spinoff, I JUST KNOW IT.
8. 8. You think the people who don’t watch new episodes of Downton Abbey and Sherlock until they’re on PBS in America are being ridiculous.
It’s not like you don’t have the internet, you wouldn’t be reading this otherwise.
9. 9. If you’re on the West Coast, you torrent Mad Men right after it airs on the East Coast because waiting another two hours would be horrible.
Even if you have cable.
10. 10. You called off work to finish Season 4 of Arrested Development. You gave “family emergency” as your excuse.
11. 11. You’re failing everything. You chug some episodes of Futurama to make it better. You fail even worse. You chug some episodes of Futurama to make it better…
12. 12. You don’t ask people what they’re up to, you ask them what episode they’re up to on Homeland.
TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT BRODY AND CARRIE.
13. 13. Your deepest and most embarrassing secret is that it’s 2013 and you’ve yet to watch The Wire.
14. 14. You’re afraid your boyfriend will find out that you went behind his back and got a season ahead of him on The Sopranos.
I’M CHEATING ON YOU. WITH SEASON 5.
15. 15. You feel adrift if you aren’t in the middle of a good TV show.
What else do I have to look forward to?
16. 16. You convince yourself that the only way you can possibly get any work done is if you make sure that there are no more New Girl episodes left to watch. On earth.
17. 17. Except that right after you finish, Hulu Auto Play ALWAYS lures you into something else.
Psssh, and it doesn’t even start you at the first episode, how rude.