10 Movies I Wish I Hadn’t Seen With My Parents
Let’s go to the movies they said, it’ll be be fun they said. Here are 10 of my personal horrors - which family viewing do you wish you could erase from your memory?
10. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
My Mom Before: Oh that goofy guy from “How I Met Your Mother” made a movie!
My Mom During: OMG HE’S WAVING HIS DICK AT HER.
My Mom During: Children play with those chess sets….
9. 8 Mile
My Parents Before: A documentary about a historic rapper? Sounds promising.
My Parents During: NO NOT THE NICE GIRL FROM CLUELESS….you’re never allowed to listen to rap music again.
8. Borat
My Dad Before: So everyone’s talking about this cutting political parody called Borat?
My Dad During: Is he…touching…outside of Victoria’s Secret?
7. Hard Candy
My Parents Before: Oh hey we rented a movie that Juno’s in!
My Parents During: NO NO SHE IS A LITTLE GIRL TURN IT OFF
6. Titanic
My Parents Before: A historical love story that doomed from the start? What lovely cinematic adventure to go on!
My Parents During: OMG OMG COVER HER EYES SHE CAN’T SEE BOOBS SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE BOOBS YET.
5. Black Swan
My Mom Before: I hear it’s been nominated for and Oscar and that the dancing is stunning.
My Mom During: I AM NOT ENJOYING THIS.
4. Brokeback Mountian
My Dad Before: (flipping through channels on TV) Oh look that guy who plays a knight is now a cowboy.
My Dad During: (flips channel as fast as possible) So inappropriate….but not wrong, gay people are fine. Great even. Gays are…uh….just ask your Mom. And don’t Google it.
3. Team America: World Police
My Mom Before: Girls day! Let’s go see a movie - those South Park guys have a movie out right?
My Mom During: (gets up and leaves)
2. The American Pie Franchise
My Dad Before: What? You told me to rent a comedy.
My Dad During: If you ever make any of the same choices that these people have made, I will have failed as a human being.
1. Clerks 2
My Parents Before: Clerks? That’s about a bunch of nerds, right? and a comic book store? It’ll be funny let’s go.
My Parent During:…………What’s about to happen to that donkey?
Got one worse than any of these? Leave them in the comments!
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Fiona G. 3 months agoI didn’t have many friends in middle school, but I NEEDED to see American Pie because of my love for Alyson Hannigan. My mother agreed to take me to see it on opening night and the theatre was packed with teenagers. Mid way through, my mother leaned over and very loudly asked me if I knew what the ‘f’ word meant. I can still hear the jeering and cat calling.
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Melanie 3 months agoFor some reason my dad rented Showgirls one evening to watch with the family. I was an adult living on my own but was there that night hanging out. He rented it because it had Jesse from Saved By The Bell…. I don’t even… it was just a terrible experience and I’ve never gotten over it.
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eidantravisc 3 months agoMy grandfather to my mom: I like baseball movies. I want to see Bull Durham.
After mom takes him to see Bull Durham: That movie wasn’t about baseball… -
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LollapaRooza 3 months agoI saw the South Park movie in the theater with my grandmother. Terrible idea.
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Allison Ferguson 3 months agoCold Mountain. I was 13 when we went to the theater to see it. My mother literally covered my eyes.
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les1lesley 3 months agoCruel intentions
Dad before: Buffy’s in this.
Dad during: Buffy Nooo! -
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LeSamourai 3 months agoWhen I turned 18 and was granted my membership at the local video store, I rented a few movies, one of which was “Taxi Driver”. Please don’t ever watch that with your parents - very awkward. Unless they’re cool with seeing a guy negotiate what he can and cannot do with a 12-year old prostitute. Or with the lead taking his date to a porno. And so on……
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