8 Hot Celeb Food-Holes That Make You Question The Sanity Of Kissing

Kissing is weird.

1. 26 billion nubile Americans would like to mash their moist feeding organs against Ryan Gosling’s food-hole.

2. A newborn’s facial cavity is mostly bacteria-free until it collects a rich loam of rotting food-crust. Miley Cyrus’ tongue grew out of such oral soil.


3. Megan Fox’s spit contains amylase and salivary lipase, which break down starch and lipids and will probably gently erode your face. :)

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

4. Michael B. Jordan has the best smile on earth. There are 32 sharp bones in his mouth that (like yours) will mash a nice burger into moist meat paste, until it is doused in stomach acid.

Yves Herman / Reuters

5. Each year, eight spiders crawl into your food-hole while you sleep. In an average kiss, one spider will crawl from Beyonce’s mouth into yours.

Lucas Jackson / Reuters

6. Consider the phrase “eating face.” Consider Godfrey Gao’s smile.

7. Think about a mouth, and the act of putting it against the people we like. Think about the many other things we call weird, that aren’t as weird as that.

8. Kissing is a disgusting fetish.

Kevin Tang

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