Last night, on August 5 in the year of our Lord Harry Styles 2015, we saw One Direction at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.
We came prepared with customized shirts.
I'm ready for the 1D concert
(Arianna's said "27 Times I Lost My Mind At The One Direction Concert," a headline that would turn out to be a gross understatement.)
Last year, we had nosebleed seats. This year, blessedly, we were on the floor.
We warmed up with Icona Pop,* whom we already liked, but whom we are now obsessed with. They were very good, and VERY cool.
Then it was time. When the boys first walked to the end of the stage to sing, we lost our minds trying to capture them.
As Harry girls, most of our documentation revolved around him.
A particularly charming moment came when Harry tried to matchmake a 9-year-old boy.
HARRY TRYING TO GET A 9 YEAR OLD BOY A GIRLFRIEND OMG #OTRAMETLIFE
OUR HEARTS.
At one point he made what we thought was a comment about moving to New York and our delicate hearts couldn't handle it.
In the lead-up to "Through the Dark," Harry called out two dads who weren't clapping/stomping as he'd requested. It was very adorable.
HARRY IS OBSESSED WITH DADS
1D dads are very committed and endearing, but also not who we would've wanted to stand next to when we were newly pubescent girls in hormonal frenzies.
Who says One Direction fans are just a bunch of 12 yrs. old #OTRAMETLIFE
Daaaaddddddd, you're embarrassing meeeeeeee.
The band played their new single "Drag Me Down," and Harry's vocals at the end laid waste to the entire stadium.
JUST KILL ME ALREADY IT'S TOO MUCH
Based on volume and pitch of screams, Niall seemed to be the fan favorite, which is understandable since he's an adorable angel-faced ham who brings frequent attention to his general groin area.
Niall looked beautiful at MetLife (my video)
Listen to the distress caused by those jaunty lil' legs! The butt shake!
NIALL WAS DOIN THE DANCE DURINH ACT MY AGE KGBN (excuse my screaming dear god) #OTRAMETLIFE
*blood-curdling screaming* "FUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK"
Had we been wearing pearls, we would have literally clutched them when he slid his hand down his crotch during "Better Than Words."
CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON NIALL FOR THAT CROTCH GRAB #OTRAMETLIFE
Instead, we grabbed each other's arms. Our jaws remained dropped for the rest of the song. This video of it is a little blurry, but trust us when we say that that's for your own protection. Seeing it in person changed us irrevocably, and it is too soon to say how.
Fans seemed concerned for Louis in the wake of news about his forthcoming progeny, holding up signs that said "Keep Smiling Louis."
Here's the video where Louis forgot his lyric and he also looked kinda sad. #OTRAMETLIFE
He did miss a lyric at one point, but neither of us really noticed, and it's impossible to say whether or not this had anything to do with him thinking of his future as a father. We think he seemed OK, and he sounded good.
Harry did a good deal of his signature water throwing and spitting, to great acclaim. Toward the end of the night, fans tried to reciprocate by throwing water at him, but he sidestepped it with the grace of a long-limbed bird.
Harry onstage last night 05-08-15 #OTRAMETLIFE
When Liam teased Harry about his tattoos, the crowd erupted into a pleading chant for Harry to take off his shirt. He didn't.
Liam talking about Harry's tattoos! #2 -N #OTRAMETLIFE
We were briefly surprised by the sexual fervor of the young girls surrounding us, but then Arianna remembered that when she was just 13 years old, she brought a sign to an NSYNC concert that read "JUSTIN'S GOT IT, I WANT IT," without entirely knowing what "it" meant.
We didn't get the memo that we were supposed to do this, but a lot of people did and it was very touching.
EVERYONE going to MetLife this sum, make a poster "I have loved you since I was __" & hold it up during 18 I can already see the boys smiles
FWIW, boys, we have loved you since we were ~26.
Harry and Liam sang "Happy Birthday" to a fan whose name we think was maybe "Bexy," who turned 25 yesterday.
Lirry sang happy birthday to a fan tonight! #OTRAMETLIFE
We were very excited when she said she was 25 because that is nearly as old as 28 or 29. Happy birthday, Bexy, and we are sorry if that is not how you spell your name, or even your actual name. Sometimes the boys' accents and all the screaming made it difficult to understand them. Also, we hate you. (JK) (Or are we???) (hahahahah)
Liam was the only member to make a costume change, switching from a white tee to a green button-down and donning one of Harry's old hats.
Louis and Liam as Harry #otrametlife
Louis also picked up, and briefly wore, a hat thrown onstage, and for a wonderful moment the stage had not one Harry, but three.
The whole two hours were equal parts ecstasy and agony, so good it physically pained us and we needed to be released.
The boys having a little fight. #OTRAMETLIFE
By this point our cheeks hurt from smiling and grimacing (because sometimes it was actually painful to be so close).
They closed (on a four-song encore, bless them) with "Best Song Ever," and together we thanked the universe for allowing us to experience and appreciate such magic as boy band mania.
Niall during 'Best Song Ever'. #OTRAMETLIFE
When it was all over, we walked out into the summer night, dazed and blinking, sailing home on a wave of hormones and hope.
🙌 1DAF 🙌
NEW: The boys on stage in the MetLife Stadium! (05/08/2015) (184-187) #MTVHottest One Direction
See you next year, boys. <3