1. Remembering how to use the equipment.
Why do some of these machines look like medieval torture devices? And who peeled off the instructions from them? Whatever, you’ll make it work.
2. Forgetting how much you sweat.
You’ve been on the elliptical for five minutes, but look like you just ran a marathon. You are literally sweating buckets. What gives? Oh, yeah. You’re out of shape.
3. Thinking you can handle more than you actually can.
You used to be able to do three sets of twelve reps, so picking up where you left off should be a breeze, right? WRONG.
4. Having to get up early to work out before work.
Setting your alarm an hour earlier sounded great last night, but then The Matrix came on right before you went to bed, and you had to finish it even though you’ve seen it a million times. Now you are dangerously close to falling asleep on the treadmill and smashing your face in embarrassing glory.
5. Working out after work.
So you slept through your alarm, no biggie. Just go after work because it’s not like you won’t be dog-ass tired or anything. And as a bonus, the gym is packed because everyone had the same idea.
6. Trying not to be tempted by the juice bar.
“Welcome back! How about a 2000-calorie Chocolate Decadence smoothie? Buy six and the seventh is half off!”
7. Attempting to eat healthy (again).
Well, until you’ve eaten your fourth kale salad in a row. Then it’s “I’m going to Arby’s!” all over again.
8. Not remembering which clothes chafe.
There was a reason you stopped wearing those shoes. Say hello to Mr. Blister!
9. Dealing with crowded classes.
You stroll in at 8:15 for an 8:30 class and OH MY LORD WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE? I JUST WANT TO ZUMBA!
10. Changing in the locker room.
It’s been awhile since you changed in a room full of strangers. Try not to stare, try not to stare… Oops.
11. Forgetting your headphones.
Crap. You just bought new ones, too. Oh, well. Have fun talking to the sweaty old man next to you about his new hip.
12. Feeling judged by the hot model types working out.
The fact that you know they aren’t actually judging you doesn’t stop you from wanting them to work out in private.