The Definitive Ranking Of Fast Food French Fries

I’m frysexual.

17. White Castle crinkle cut fries

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The Beastie Boys once noted that, “White Castle fries only come in one size.” But that was the ’80s and now they come in three sizes. These little guys are a must with that bag of farts, er, I mean, sliders. Perfect when you have no other choice and really want fries.

16. Jack In The Box curly fries

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J in the B is perfect late night junk food, and these bad boys are always ready to soak up that giggle juice you’ve been pounding all night. They don’t, however, taste the same coming up as they do going down, which is something to consider.

15. Del Taco crinkle cut fries

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Fast food taco joints rarely have fries, so when they do they usually are an afterthought. Not at Del Taco, my friend. These dipped in Del Taco’s hot sauce will make your day better/fartier.

14. Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s classic fries

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Whether you’re at a Hardee’s or a Carl’s Jr., their fries will be there like an old townie friend who wants to catch up with ketchup, and tell you about the screenplay they’ve been working on. In other words, tasty, but there is a reason you don’t visit that often.

13. Sonic classic fries

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The beauty of Sonic is that you can eat like a pig without ever leaving your car. That being said, you will probably be pigging out on these fries because they are awesome and taste like Americana.

12. In-N-Out classic fries

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What makes In-N-Out fries stand out is the fact that they are always fresh and never frozen. However, if not eaten immediately they get limp and soggy fast. And before you scream, these would be ranked higher if this were a list of secret menu items because, duh, Animal Style.

11. Whataburger classic fries

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Uh, false advertising alert since there aren’t Whataburgers near everyone. Still, if you happen to find yourself near one, immediately stop and get a burger with their delicious fries and dip them in their fancy ketchup. You’re welcome.

10. Wendy’s classic fries

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Wendy’s is one of those places you’re probably like, “I haven’t eaten there in a long time.” Well, time to go and order some delicious Wendy’s fries. Bonus points if you order a Frosty and dip said fries in it.

9. Fatburger fat fries

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They’re fries, but they’re fat, which makes them more scrumptious. Yeah, Fatburger also has regular fries, but why get those when you can get fat?

8. Steak n’ Shake

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All right, so these fries could stand to have a little more meat on their bones. But the small size just means more can fit into your mouth at a time! And when it comes to helpings, SNS isn’t shy. You get half a plate full of these little fries ready for your consumption. Dip them in your shake and you’ll never be the same.

7. Dairy Queen crinkle cut fries

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What’s better than Dairy Queen’s ice cream? Dipping their fries into said ice cream. It’s like Dairy Queen designed the perfect fry to accompany any type of ice cream. It’s ingenious. Crunchy, yet sweet.

6. Five Guys bucket of fries

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Mouthwatering, delectable fries…in a BUCKET. A whole bucket of fries. A whole bucket of fries to yourself, if you want it. Honestly, what more could you want?

5. Chick-Fil-A waffle fries

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These babies will come hot and ready busting out of their packaging. The only downside to eating these fries is when you run out. Oh, and the fact that they are a homophobic company. But dem waffle fries, doe…

4. Rally’s seasoned fries

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THE SEASONING. GOOD GOD. Don’t even bother ordering anything else. All you need are these fries. There’s never a time when these aren’t exactly what you need.

3. Burger King classic fries

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Burger King knows what is up when it comes to French fries. The right amount of crunch and salt mixed with warmth. Although who are we kidding, we’d eat them cold too.

2. McDonald’s classic fries

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Heaven is a place that smells like McDonald’s French fries. This is a fact. The only thing better than the smell is the taste. They taste perfect plain, covered in ketchup, or dipped in a milkshake. This was a close second.

1. Arby’s curly and classic fries

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The aroma, the crunch, the crisp…mouths begin to water just thinking about these fries. At Arby’s you honestly can’t go wrong when it comes to fries, curly or regular. But I think we all know there is nothing in this world like Arby’s curly fries. The one true love of all of our lives.

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