first, i am tired of a woman doing “small” violent things like pushing or slapping a man during TV shows and movies being acceptable. it shouldn’t be. it desensitizes us like it is a ‘harmless’ form of violence, it is not. it is important to remember that most physically abusive relationships do not start that way. It starts with verbal abuse to tear down the other person’s self confidence and start to gain control. tell tale signs i’ve noticed are name calling, not fighting ‘fair’ with their partner and derogatory comments, having to ask his/her significant other for permission to do things. if you are in a situation like this, or it has gone further, please tell someone, get support to leave. it will only get worse. it cycles - i’m sorry, i love you, i’ll never hurt you again…over and over. if you are in this situation or know someone who is, i recommend the book ‘the verbally abusive relationship’ by patricia evans. this book changed my life, my thinking, and helped me get out. i recommended it to other women who have since left their abuser (i would also equally recommend it to a man who is being verbally abused) and they have passed it to others they know in need of help. the abuser often has an ‘irrational’ state of mind which the abused person is trying to satisfy or please constantly. you cannot please an irrational state of mind, it will always find something wilder, something crazier to get angry or argue or insult you about. there is no bottom. there is no satisfying it. you cannot win. the only safe way is leaving them. it is not your job to make them “get better”.