1. Ah, morning again. You’re frustrated and 17 minutes late for work and impatiently waiting to get upstairs.
2. You almost made it on your first try but you just missed the cut.
Those already inside weren’t feeling too charitable.
3. So now you have to wait like 100 million minutes for the next one to come.
‘Cause obviously you wouldn’t dream of taking the stairs.
4. Once you finally get on, the place is packed. And hot.
And everyone is sweating. And it is heinous.
5. It feels like people are literally stopping on every. single. floor.
6. Reaching your destination could take a lifetime.
9. Regardless of whether or not you want to, you’re gonna run into the usual crew of characters.
10. There’s that girl who’s BUMPING Rihanna as if there’s not an elevator full of people around her.
It’s 8 a.m. Please do stop the music.
11. And the dude who doesn’t get that this is not the place for an extensive phone call to his golf buddy.
12. One guy is tryna shmooze with you, but like no.
“So… you come here often?”
This is an elevator. What are you doing.
13. The standard move is to give people the “glance and look away.”
Two easy steps. Glance like you’re friendly… then look away like it never happened.
14. If some jester tries to squeeze into this clown car, they’ll get hit with the dirtiest of stares.
16. The elevator itself is kind of sketchy too.
18. It’s bumping up and down so much you might as well be on the freakin’ Tower of Terror.
19. So you kind of feel like you’re locked in a death trap until you reach your floor.
20. Finally, the elevator stops. At last. Time to celebrate.
Or so you thought.
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