This Is What Happened When We Showed Non-Australians Photos Of Aussie Stuff

"How do you people live in these conditions?!"

BuzzFeed Australia sent 15 uncaptioned photos of Australian things to our international offices and asked them to write down their immediate thoughts. This is what happened:

1. Sydney Harbour during a thunderstorm.

Twitter: @MrBlackSpirits

Paul (UK): Probably a more honest tourism photo than the sunny ones.

Katie (US): This looks like one of those fake viral images that goes around Twitter when a storm is coming.

Rosa (US): I know I should feel concerned for the people of the harbour, but honestly, I'd love to be in the heart of that storm.

Francis (UK): The four horsemen of the apocalypse are about to gallop above Sydney Harbour. Tell your families you love them.

Juliana (Brazil): WOW! It's a wave in the sky!

Hilary (UK): Wait, what is that? Is that...bad weather? Surely not. You don't have that there — I've certainly never seen any in Neighbours.

Karima (India): Beauty. Ekdam kadak. (Mumbai expression for "perfect".)

Lena (Germany): ARMAGEDDON!

2. Coredor, a character in the '90s kids show Plasmo.

ABC

Laura (UK): Well this guy isn't pleased about having a vagina on his face.

Paul (UK): This survey went from zero to weird in literally no time at all.

Karima (India): It looks like it's having sex with itself. What is this. Why is this. Is this from a children's show?!

Lena (Germany): Whaaaaat is this? And why is it wearing an apron?!

Rosa (US): I'm sure this is some beloved children's show...but vagina, vagina, vagina.

Adam (US): This is what happens when Satan learns claymation.

Alex (US): It's natural! There's no shame in exploring your body.

Jessica (US): Is this a vagina monster? WTF?!?

Francis (UK): WT ACTUAL FUCKING F IS THIS? What is this abomination doing to its terrifying face labia? Why does it even have a terrifying face labia? Why is it wearing an apron? Is this from a kids show? You people are monsters.

3. A snake coming through the ceiling light in the bathroom.

imgur.com

Susie (US): Australia, we have to talk.

Karima (India): Voldemort was Australian.

Amna (UK): Reasons I am never visiting you guys.

Laura (UK): I am truly thankful that English animals are too pathetic to kill you. Australia is terrifying.

Francis (UK): GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT SHOWER! How do you people live in these conditions?

Alex (US): Not today, Satan.

Katie (US): NOPE.

Rosa (US): Absofuckinglutelynot.

Juliana (Brazil): HAAALP!

Paul (UK): Sweet, free snek. Come here, snek.

4. Fairy bread.

Flickr: slushpup

Adam (US): Are those sprinkles? Sprinkles on bread? If so, yes please.

Francis (UK): Now this looks delicious. Why wait for ice cream to have sprinkles when you can just smear them on stale sliced bread?

Lena (Germany): It looks a bit like something Dutch people eat as well. And like it's going to give me a major toothache.

Hilary (UK): Is this...sugar on toast? Aha. This explains why Australia has a similar obesity rate to Glasgow despite the fact you actually do exercise because it isn't raining all the time.

Laura (UK): Don't worry, Australia, one day you'll be allowed proper pop tarts too.

Juliana (Brazil): Wasn't this supposed to go on the top of a cake?

Candice (US): This looks like something someone would make while stoned. DELICIOUS.

Katie (US): I'm assuming these are some sort of sprinkles on toast? In which case... I think that's kind of OK? I'd try that (although it's probably only for kids?).

Rosa (US): I think this is fairy toast? I forgot they did this in Australia. I learned about the Dutch doing it with chocolate. Sprinkles do photograph better.

Susie (US): It looks like a cupcake crossed with a slice of white bread. Would eat.

5. AFL (aka Aussie Rules football).

Daniel Carson / Getty Images

Paul (UK): Sports tower. Used to channel sports energy.

Amna (UK): Is he jumping (that's way high!) or are they lifting him? Also, THIGHS!

Lena (Germany): What sport is this? Why are these men's shorts so short? And what are they actually looking at? The Armageddon from the first picture?

Alex (US): I feel good about this image. I would look at this multiple times.

Candice (US): That guy at the very top should compete in the men's high jump at the Olympics.

Rosa (US): Rugby??? I love the casual uniforms, but don't understand the varying sock heights. Is the guy on the right just a baller who doesn't need no stinking shin guards?

Susie (US): Is this the mythical Aussie Rules football?

Katie (US): Is he ON their shoulders or is that just a really insane vertical leap? What kind of sport lets you climb on someone's shoulders? Like when you chicken fight in the pool?

6. The Big Merino.

Flickr: corrieb

Karima (India): Is this the sheep equivalent of the Sphinx?

Lena (Germany): So this is what Australian animals look like?

Amna (UK): Seems legit. I'mma name him Cassius.

Laura (UK): The sheep with a thousand bollocks.

Francis (UK): This sheep embodies the feelings of an entire generation of millennials. Same, sheep. Same.

Alex (US): I think y'all are overfeeding your sheep.

Katie (US): Burn down Mount Rushmore and replace it with this, please. I'm all for this.

Jessica (US): Is that a ram version of Jabba the Hutt?

Susie (US): New Zealand?

7. Wave Rock.

en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons

Katie (US): What the hell kind of natural event makes this happen?

Hilary (UK): Wow, Australia: a country so dry that even your waves are made of dust.

Laura (UK): This is where the kids from Heartbreak High go to smoke weed.

Susie (US): Natural skate park formation?

Francis (UK): I guess some Aussies got tired of moving from city to city in search of the perfect wave, so they just built a statue of one.

Juliana (Brazil): Bring your skates!

Karima (India): I want my hair to have these shades of highlights.

Jessica (US): Seems like a good background for a selfie.

8. Bunnings sausage sizzle.

instagram.com

Lena (Germany): Is this a hot dog? But why did they put it between a piece of sandwich toast? (Also, the mustard looks nice). (I hope it's mustard.)

Paul (UK): Car park hot dog. A staple of DIYers everywhere here.

Hilary (UK): At first I was like, cool, no big deal, just a hot dog. Then I saw that it was served on cheap, plain sliced white bread. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU ANIMALS?

Laura (UK): Is that a hot dog in a slice of bread? Do Australians know how to do anything?

Juliana (Brazil): Yummy!

Francis (UK): Someone got fed up of smearing multi-coloured sprinkles on his stale white bread so he just went for sausage-ketchup-mustard thing instead. Do you just smear all your foodstuffs onto stale white bread?

Candice (US): Yes, please. This looks like home.

Rosa (US): It's a hot dog. We have these too. They're fantastic. Nothing weird here. Unless eating in parking lots is a thing that lots of people do.

Susie (US): Are there no hot dog buns in Australia? Would try, though.

Jessica (US): It looks like a sketchy hot dog. I wouldn't eat it.

9. The Mall's Balls in Rundle Mall.

commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

Juliana (Brazil): Instagram ready!

Paul (UK): I hope in the winter they dress this thing as a snowman.

Amna (UK): Maybe we should get these so we can see if we are about to be mugged.

Hilary (UK): Every city needs a giant pair of shiny balls. Also, is that really Australia? It looks like Wigan town centre on a wet Wednesday.

Laura (UK): Town centres are dull as fuck the world over.

Francis (UK): Are these the Big Balls that Bon Scott was referring to in Aussie rock legends/lyrical misogynists AC/DC's shit novelty song "Big Balls"? Because they're very big.

Adam (US): It reminds me of the Cloud Gate sculpture in Chicago. Maybe it's the same artist?

Candice (US): I wouldn't get anywhere near it.

Rosa (US): Classic mall sculpture.

Jessica (US): Shiny balls. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alex (US): lol balls.

10. Prime Minister Tony Abbott. In Budgy Smugglers.

Craig Golding / Getty Images

Adam (US): Please give us an NSFW warning, guys.

Paul (UK): Oh, Christ, that's a politician isn't it. I didn't need to see this.

Karima (India): At least your PM is athletic.

Lena (Germany): At first I was a little irritated by the wet hair on their chest. Then I realised their swimming trunks say "smuggler". I have no idea what's going on there.

Hilary (UK): He looks like he just pooped in the pool. "I'd give it five minutes if I were you, mate."

Rosa (US): The ill-equipped aquatic love child of Tony Blair and Andy Serkis?

Juliana (Brazil): Keep up the good work!

Francis (UK): Wow, Ian Thorpe is ageing *terribly*.

Susie: Wish I could read what it says above "smuggler." Also, why is your prime minister appearing in public in any kind of "smuggler"?

Katie (US): Pretty jacked for an old guy.

Jessica (US): His chest hair is shaped like a penis.

11. Chris Hemsworth and Isabel Lucas starring on Home and Away.

Seven

Karima (India): Is... that.. Chris Hemsworth????????

Amna (UK): After school staple. LOVED. Gave me feels.

Laura (UK): Home and Away and Neighbours had the BEST school dresses.

Francis (UK): Their faces are wholesome but their minds are clearly pure filth. Is that a Hemsworth on the right? Are you all Hemsworths?

Adam (US): That is a Hemsworth. Idk which. Chris, probably. More importantly, look at all that plaid.

Candice (US): This looks like an Aussie version of Saved by the Bell.

Rosa (US): A teen soap where only the leading lady gets to cinch her dress to make her "the attractive one". Is she pretending to crush on this obviously gay 28-year-old senior?

Susie (US): The lighting says early '90s but the uniforms say '70s–'80s.

Jessica (US): I identify with the #foreveralone girl in the background. She seems awesome. I would be friends with her.

Katie (US): OMG IS THAT THOR?

12. A quokka.

imgur.com

Karima (India): BE MY PET.

Adam (US): QUOKKA I LOVE IT.

Jessica (US): CUTEST LITTLE CREATURE IN THE WORLD.

Paul (UK): AHHH I WANNA RUFFLE IT AND FEED IT HOBNOBS.

Lena (Germany): OH MY GOD WOMBATS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Actually, I still have the plan to get a wombat for me, and then it would sit on my desk all day and be cute and we'd be best friends forever.)

Amna (UK): So cute. But will it kill me is the question.

Hilary (UK): Oh my god, is that wombat smiling? It looks so cute, but could probably poison you with its talons, or probably it opens its mouth and a million spiders come out and swarm all over your face.

Juliana (Brazil): Cute! Can we pet this?

Francis (UK): This is the only friend I'll ever need. All my other friends are fired. Quokka is my everything now.

Alex (US): I want 12.

13. Goon of Fortune.

instagram.com

Lena (Germany): Huh??! First I thought it was a giant shark wrapped in foil, hung up to dry. Now I don't know what to think anymore. Is this what Australians do with their pillows after waking up in the morning?

Paul (UK): Solar shower. They actually sell these in the UK but the sun is LITERALLY NEVER OUT so they don't work.

Amna (UK): The humungous pegs are adorable but Australians dry clothes weird if that is in fact what is happening...

Katie (US): Is this wine in a bag? Please tell me it's wine in a bag.

Susie (US): Is this full of wine? An outdoor solar wine-heating advice? I have no idea.

Rosa (US): That's a space-bag! Don't expect any college graduate to not recognise the heart-soul of boxed wine! No idea why it's hung on a clothesline; we'd just throw them at each other then take a drink.

Hilary (UK): Ah! A bag of wine on a washing line! The true height of Australian sophistication. I'm assuming this was taken at an ambassadorial reception?

Laura (UK): Innovative. Australians are probably the only people who are drunker than Brits.

Jessica (US): #PartyGoals.

Alex (US): Is this for aliens?

14. The Twelve Apostles.

en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons

Karima (India): *books tickets to wherever this is*

Lena (Germany): This is so, so beautiful. I want to go there right now.

Paul (UK): Probably something deadly on the beach, despite the good view.

Amna (UK): OK, I get it, this may be why people risk all the deadly animals to come visit.

Hilary (UK): I have actually been here, and it's STUPIDLY, unbelievably gorgeous. Well done, Australia. It's almost worth putting up with shower snakes for.

Laura (UK): Photoshopped Cornwall.

Adam (US): This is stunning.

Alex (US): This looks like a screensaver!

Candice (US): Beach of my dreams.

Jessica (US): *packs bags * *travels to Australia*

15. Flinders Street Station and tramline in Melbourne.

Flickr: allan_harris / Creative Commons

Amna (UK): Somewhere to hide from the snakes.

Hilary (UK): Ah, Melbourne. You mock us Edinburghers with your complex and fully functional tram system. Damn you. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.

Paul (UK): Everyone can appreciate a good tram-way. It's, like, the one thing that our worst town, Croydon, has going for it.

Laura (UK): Photoshopped Manchester. Stop stealing our stuff!

Juliana (Brazil): We have one like that in Brazil!

Francis (UK): This is a clock tower one of Australia's settlers stole from Britain and smuggled on board his prison ship.

Katie (US): Looks like the one old church in like Cleveland.

Candice (US): This makes me want to visit. Minus the snakes... I'm still scared.

Alex (US): OK, moving to Australia.