13. Anne Spencer, Countess of Sunderland
Hotness: Just look at those eyes! Anne Churchill is a clear choice for one of the smokingest babes (with land and a title) of the late 17th century.
Style: A low-cut dress and a saucy hair do make her tough competition for any good-looking aristocrat hoping to compete.
X-Factor: Having Winston Churchill as a future descendent.
12. Princess Henrietta, Duchess of Orleans
Hotness: Remote and yet SO immediate, with that perfect Restoration-era mix of icy disdain and land-owning swagger.
Style: The gold bodice gives away just enough, don’t you think?
X-Factor: Died at 26, possibly poisoned. Too good for this world!
11. Barbara Palmer (nee Villiers), First Duchess Of Cleveland
Hotness: First Duchess of Cleveland? More like first duchess of my heart.
Style: It’s a bit daring to wear such a loose-fitting dress, but if anyone can pull it off, it’s Barbara Palmer (née Villiers).
X-Factor: Into Madonna-and-Child cosplay.
10. Anne Hyde, Duchess of York
Hotness: “Hey,” Anne seems to say, “hey, servant, I’m thirsty. Bring me a chalice of water.” Are you going turn her down?
Style: Pearls? Check. Satin bodice? Check. Helmet in lap? Check, I think?
X-Factor: Her daughter, Lady Anne, became the first sovereign of Great Britain. Meow!
9. King Charles II
Hotness: Nine years of exile has a way of giving a man something of a smoldering expression.
Style: The man is king of England, Scotland, and Ireland. If he says it’s stylish, it’s stylish.
X-Factor: An extremely daring hairstyle.
8. Mary Of Modena, Queen Consort of England, Scotland, And Ireland
Hotness: There’s no denying that come-hither look. Believe me, many tried!
Style: The casual drape of a cloak across Mary’s lap says both “oh, this old thing?” and “modern heating hasn’t been invented yet.”
X-Factor: She married James, Duke of York, Anne Hyde’s husband, after Anne died. Quelle scandal!
7. John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester
Hotness: A rakish smile, a curly periwig, and an actual monkey sidekick make John Wilmot one of the true catches of Restoration England.
Style: One of the most stylish earls ever to put on a pair of breeches and stockings.
X-Factor: Who doesn’t love a man with a pet monkey?
6. Louise De Keroualle, Duchess Of Portsmouth
Hotness: Sorry, what was that you were saying? I was distracted by the SEARING HOTNESS of Louise De Keroualle, surely among the very most attractive aristocrats of the Restoration or any other time period.
Style: The mix of I-just-tumbled-out-of-bed hair and barely-buttoned-bodice is potent.
X-Factor: She is an ancestor of both Diana, Princess of Wales, and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.
5. William Cavendish, First Duke Of Newcastle
Hotness: A noted equestrian, swordsman, and poet, Bill Cavendish’s hotness stems as much from his accomplishments as from his manly pecs.
Style: Are those lace epaulettes? Yes please!
X-Factor: Once you pick up this Duke’s saucy essay on Méthode et invention nouvelle de dresser les chevaux, you won’t be able to put it down.
4. Queen Mary II
Hotness: This queen’s pair beats your two jacks any day!
Style: Regal doesn’t begin to capture it.
X-Factor: At 5 foot 11 inches, Mary brought some serious height to her reign.
3. Sir Godfrey Kneller, Baronet
Hotness: Sporting a full head of his own hair, Sir Godfrey turns his delicate nose up at the very idea of a periwig. And let’s be honest, nothing’s hotter than a baronetcy.
Style: Understated and tasteful, Sir Godfrey’s not a man to worry about the latest fashions - but who needs fashion when you’re court painter to King Charles II?
X-Factor: Who else do you know who’s painted Sir Isaac Newton?
2. James Scott, Duke of Monmouth and Buccleuch
Hotness: Fans of Robert Downey Jr. may detect a similarly smoky intelligence to the Duke of Monmouth’s looks (but there’s no proof the two are related).
Style: The lace-bordered linen collar says “aristocrat,” while the armor says “bad boy.”
X-Factor: Executed in 1685 by beheading. See! Original bad boy material!
1. Eleanor (‘Nell’) Gwyn
Hotness: Hottest babe of the 17th century, no question.
Style: Nell Gwyn’s style is so out of control she makes a wardrobe malfunction look like a fashion statement.
X-Factor: Pretty, witty, and mistress to the king.