19 Things Fabio Is Actually Thinking On Romance Novel Covers

“LOL. Your boobs smell like pancakes.”

1. “If her hair catches on fire, I’m leaving her to die.”

2. “Is there anything more erotic than extreme close-up mouth breathing?”

3. “BITCH STOLE MY NIGHTGOWN.”

4. “How are we able to balance in this position, even? I’m legit concerned.”

5. “Just got sand in my man-thong.”

“YUP. DEFINITELY. SAND. IN. MY. MAN. JUNK.”

6. “How long do I have to hold this? Five more seconds? 10? It’s going to be awkward when I drop her.”

7. ::: whispers ::: “LOL. Your boobs smell like pancakes.”

8. “I should’ve brought a sweater.”

9. “I should’ve brought a sweater with buttons.”

10. “I should’ve gone for a full french braid instead of this one-strand braid. LC would be so ashamed of me.”

11. “Da fuck… She hasn’t even complimented my belt yet.”

Shit’s about to get WET.

12. “What’s a VideoNovel anyway? Doesn’t that just mean a movie?”

13. “This chick just totally photobombed my selfie.”

14. “Are we floating in the middle of the ocean? How?”

15. “Maybe this whole, ‘Let’s stand under a waterfall and hold each other’ thing wasn’t SUCH a great idea.”

16. “Oh, you like these tights? You should, since they’re yours.”

17. “Are we not going to acknowledge this giant and his dong just standing there?”

Also, are they sitting on his giant dong? What’s the positioning here?

18. “Can you put your pinkie on my nip, please? Thanks.”

19. “I’m really glad someone invented indoor wind, it’s doing WONDERS for my hair right now.”

And it seems to be blowing in two directions…

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