1. Stage 1: Remember that there might be a thing you have to do, when you’d rather be doing nothing.
Whether you’ve had a long day, or you’re a secret introvert (like me!), you just immediately want to die a little.
2. Stage 2: Decide not to bring it up, because maybe they’ll forget, or something wonderful like that.
3. Stage 3: The unthinkable happens — they email to check if you’re still on for tonight.
5. Stage 5: Waffle back and forth on what to do for roughly an hour.
6. Stage 6: Make the executive decision that there is no way, no how, that you’re going out.
7. Stage 7: Complete and utter dread over the conversation you’ll need to have.
8. Stage 8: Brainstorm excuses for why you can’t go, like you need to eat …
Or you accidentally fell into the bowels of hell, and can’t be rescued…
10. Stage 9: Settle on the excuse that no one can ever, ever fight you on…
11. Stage 10: Apologize profusely after sending the excuse.
12. Stage 11: Then you wait, and wait, and wait until you wanna throw up, for their response.
13. Stage 12: After countless minutes — that feel like hours — they respond.
14. Stage 13: Take off your pants, sailor, because someone’s staying in tonight!
17. Stage 15: Enjoy a lovely, quiet evening of bliss in the joy of your own company.
18. Stage 16: Then you go to sleep, happy with all of your life choices …
- Dylann Roof wants to plead guilty to the charges against him in the Charleston church shooting, his attorney said, but a judge entered a not guilty plea for him on Friday.
- The U.S. Coast Guard has suspended its search for two teenagers who went missing a week ago off the coast of Florida.
- Beijing will host the 2022 Winter Olympics, becoming the first city to host both the summer and winter games.