1. First of all, watch this so we can get the SUPER scary questions out of the way:
2. Do you ever think, “Why the hell did I do this…?”
Like, you can just tell me. I won’t tell anyone.
3. What happens if your kid turns out to be a little jerk?
4. Like, it’s not your fault, it just comes out and is kind of dickish. What do you do?
5. Because you know you can’t return this thing, right?
6. Exactly how much poop do you clean up on a daily basis?
7. What do you do when you want to watch Game of Thrones?
Do you just wait for it to fall asleep?
8. Are you offended when I call the kid “it” instead of by a real name?
10. Actually, just why do they cry so much? Is there a way to make it stop?
11. Do you feel bad when you have to punish your kids?
12. What do you do if you’re kid’s being a total weirdo?
15. How much sleep do you ACTUALLY get each night?
17. If you have more than one, will you love them both equally?
My guess is no, but…
18. When do babies stop being blobs and start being fun?
19. Are you nervous your kids will hear you having sex and be traumatized for life?
20. Does your house just get completely trashed every time they’re awake?
21. What do you do if your kid loves your partner more?
Buy their affection?