1. You aren’t being pooped on by a flock of seagulls.
The birds, not the amazing band.
3. You’re not making out with someone while a cat’s on your back, and taking a photo of it.
5. At least you’re not a creep reading Playboy in a crowded airport!
14. You aren’t trying to survive a rain storm in this double poncho.
15. You don’t have an Easter basket attached to your head.
16. You didn’t jump off of a trampoline and shatter a slide while being videotaped.
17. You’re not part of the most epic non high five of all time.
19. Your family didn’t make you paint your face and pose as one of the colors of the rainbow.
30. Kobe Bryant didn’t just let you know that he gives zero fucks about what you’re saying.
Poor Chris Rock.
- Officials released new footage proving Sandra Bland was "alive and well" when her mugshot was taken to counter social media rumors that she was deceased in the photo.
- The U.S. will release Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard after 30 years. The move isn't tied to the Iran nuclear deal, American officials say.
- The NFL has upheld Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his alleged involvement with the deflation of footballs 🏈