1. You aren’t being pooped on by a flock of seagulls.
The birds, not the amazing band.
3. You’re not making out with someone while a cat’s on your back, and taking a photo of it.
5. At least you’re not a creep reading Playboy in a crowded airport!
14. You aren’t trying to survive a rain storm in this double poncho.
15. You don’t have an Easter basket attached to your head.
16. You didn’t jump off of a trampoline and shatter a slide while being videotaped.
17. You’re not part of the most epic non high five of all time.
19. Your family didn’t make you paint your face and pose as one of the colors of the rainbow.
30. Kobe Bryant didn’t just let you know that he gives zero fucks about what you’re saying.
Poor Chris Rock.
- With head clerk Kim Davis jailed, Rowan County issued several marriage licenses to same-sex couples today. ›
- After mounting pressure from other European countries, Britain will accept thousands more refugees from UN camps bordering Syria. ›
- U.S. Vice President Joe Biden said he isn't sure he has the "emotional energy" to run for president. ›