1. You aren’t being pooped on by a flock of seagulls.
The birds, not the amazing band.
3. You’re not making out with someone while a cat’s on your back, and taking a photo of it.
5. At least you’re not a creep reading Playboy in a crowded airport!
14. You aren’t trying to survive a rain storm in this double poncho.
15. You don’t have an Easter basket attached to your head.
16. You didn’t jump off of a trampoline and shatter a slide while being videotaped.
17. You’re not part of the most epic non high five of all time.
19. Your family didn’t make you paint your face and pose as one of the colors of the rainbow.
30. Kobe Bryant didn’t just let you know that he gives zero fucks about what you’re saying.
Poor Chris Rock.
- BP has agreed to pay a $18.7 billion fine to settle legal actions over the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill.
- Liberia has reported three new cases of Ebola this week. The country was declared Ebola-free on May 9.
- A pilot has broken the world records for longest solo flight and longest non-stop flight ever taken in a solar-powered airplane ?