1. Show them how little you care about their low blood sugar by wasting their supply of Cheetos.
3. Burn their car to the ground, make it look like an accident, then stand helplessly nearby with a hose and a sympathetic look.
5. Grease their gymnastics bar with butter right before competition time.
7. Leave this for them after a large dinner of chili con carne.
12. Slip this brochure for Botox under their door, so when they wake up it’s the first thing they see!
13. Trick them into thinking they’re about to have the best night ever.
15. Make their commute a little sweeter by giving them a fun new paint job using all of their Post-it notes.
21. Buy them generic brand cereal instead of the real deal.
22. Turn their lives into a world where they can’t ever hope to escape Nicolas Cage’s gaze.
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