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12 Things Only Justin Abarca’s Will Understand

“You don’t know you’re beautiful!” JK.

1. You can judge a man’s character by the amount he cares about Star Wars.

(i.e. the more the better)

2. Squirrels are best when crafted from fondant.

3. Great hair isn’t an attribute, it’s a lifestyle.

4. And thick straight hair is a fucking nightmare. Don’t let self-important curlies tell you otherwise.

5. Being photogenic isn’t something you can teach, it’s just WHO YOU ARE.

6. Colin Firth is an asshole.

7. Man scarfs.

8. And man buzz, in general.

9. The importance of a cat shirt, or a cat sitting on your shirt.

10. Being a dick is no piece of cake. It is another person’s piece of cake that you already ate even though there was a note on it.

11. Dick moves, in general.

12. A sensible pun, or 13, is absolutely necessary.

He’s Justin-credible.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUSTIN!!!


From the LA office, and your fellow GOOPS.

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