Dear me, It’s okay. You like her and she likes you. Actually, she loves you and five years later you’ll still be together. So don’t find yourself depressed and self-harming when you end an abusive relationship with that high school boyfriend. Don’t look for other boys because that’s what you think is expected. Don’t cheat on her with boys (and girls) to make sure she’s the one. Don’t doubt your sexuality because you never knew you were gay, like so many people do. Don’t think you need options to realize how lucky you have it. Don’t hesitate to be in a serious, long term, committed relationship at 18. Trust your instincts, trust your relationship, and don’t doubt the endless love you have. It’s real, it’s going to last, and the *experiments* you try in the process will only cause you pain. Because when you’re 23 and looking back on the 5 years you’ve shared, you’re going to wish you focused more on her love and less on the options.