1. She is literally the most beautiful woman to ever live.
3. I mean check out dem legs!
4. She kicked cancer’s ass and had an awesome sense of humor about it.
5. Her baked goods win awards and she celebrates with a shot of whiskey because she’s Joanne Frickin’ Chack.
Try her Irish soda bread. No wait—don’t. Because you’ll die. That’s how good it is.
7. She graduated college at 55, because she knows you’re never too old to git learn’d.
8. She climbs the heck outta mountains.
Mt. Everest? That’s cute.
10. She climbs the crap outta trees.
11. She cares about the environment. You’re welcome, World.
12. She was Grand Marshal of the Oradell 4th of July parade because she kicks so much freaking ass.
Is there even a higher honor in the entire world?
13. She’s a fuckin’ world traveler.
And she won’t get mad at me for dropping the F-bomb when she remembers I’m quoting one of her favorite movies, My Cousin Vinny.
15. She naturally birthed three beautiful young women.
NATURALLY BIRTHED, PEOPLE. No drugs or nuttin’.