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The 31 Most Kim Kardashian Things That Have Ever Happened

"Instagramming photos of food isn't sexy."

1. When she got totally naked (save for a pair of shoes) for GQ.

2. When she acquired matching sheer Fendi tops for her and baby North.

3. When she revealed that THIS is her passport photo.

4. When she did a casual bit of sunbathing.

5. When she spent a family holiday taking 1,200* selfies.

*Yes, really.

6. When she used Ross from Friends as tanning inspiration.

7. When she revealed the reason she decided against buying Elizabeth Taylor's home.

8. When she made this bold statement.

9. When she explained what her talent was.

When she took a selfie while jet skiing.

10. When she just tweeted the word "selfies" with five exclamation marks.

11. When makeup was way more important than emotions.

12. When she experienced pain during her pregnancy and handled it calmly.

13. When this happened.

14. When she asked her assistants to rub sand on her ass.

15. And of course, they did.

16. When she stuck needles in her face in the name of relaxation.

17. When she explained why she voted for Barack Obama.

18. When she said this.

19. Which meant that this made total sense.

20. When she conducted a lesson on how to take selfies.

21. When she interrupted a hair appointment to take a selfie.

22. When she took a selfie during her Ice Bucket Challenge.

23. When her face was injected with her own blood in the name of youth and beauty.

24. And then shared a selfie. Obviously.

25. When she had a lot on her fucking plate, OK?

26. When she took a nap like this.

27. When she lay amongst her 1,000 red roses on Valentine's Day.

28. When she posed for the most iconic Instagram photo of all time.

29. When she showed off her sportswear.

30. When she revealed her biggest pet hate.

31. And finally, when she pondered the big questions in life.

Never change.

<3