1. Ask your stylist to give you completely new hair, aka a “Mission Impossible.”
Please have realistic expectations; your hairstylist is not a magician. If your hair is cut like, say, Miley Cyrus, she can’t make you look like a picture of Carrie Underwood.
2. Miss your appointment and still expect same day or expedited service.
The two of you agreed that you would show up at the time. Try showing up at your doctor’s appointment two and a half hours late; how would that fly?
3. Surprise your stylist by booking a trim and blowdry, then asking for highlights and an updo when you show up.
In other words, says Atlanta-based stylist Nikki Noir, clients often make an appointment for one service, then end up requesting something totally different when they arrive.
4. Tell your stylist how to do his or her job.
…Oh you do hair too? Cool, why are you here?
5. Bring your friends and family, who all have an opinion about your hair.
I’m sure you wouldn’t care much for a critics’ circle over your shoulder while you worked, either.
6. Say, “Let’s do something fun!” and be vague about what that is.
“Short, but not too short,” “Kinda straight but kinda curly,” “Volume, but not too big.” These direction-less directions cancel each other out. Your stylist is creative, but not clairvoyant.
7. Unleash your kids on the salon and expect your stylist to babysit.
Maybe your stylist loves children, but in a salon they’re working with scissors, hot tools, and maybe even chemicals, none of which double as toys. And you know whether your kids are the sit-and-color type, or the run-and-terrorize type.
8. Arrive at your appointment unshowered, or fresh from hot yoga.
While your stylist is leaning over you washing your hair, you don’t want to catch a whiff of her armpits, do you? Likewise, while she’s in your face cutting those bangs, or just in close quarters, period, she also would appreciate if you popped a mint or washed that dirt behind your ears, thankyouverymuch.
9. Try to write a check as form of payment.
Or trying to barter…
Or asking to make a partial payment…
How ‘bout they leave your half-done until you have the rest of the cash?
10. Have Herculean expectations for your weave.
You want a color job with your weave on the same day? …How much time you got?
You want extensions but have no hair to attach them to? …Not gonna happen.
You’ve had your current weave in for, like, four months? …M’am, that’s not OK, either, Noir says.
11. Leave your interpersonal skills at home.
One of the perks of the job is meeting and conversing with new people. So be friendly, damnit!
But on a good note: “I love when the client is open to options and not stuck in a box with their hairstyles or hair care routine,” Noir said.
Your stylist is a professional; trust them a little and take a risk!