1.
Because no one should show their love for someone like this:
2.
Because of people like Jeffrey:
3.
Because you don't have to deal with hard hitting questions like this:
4.
Because it's too difficult to come up comebacks this good 24/7:
5.
And chances are you only have so many hot pics:
6.
Because life is too short to have to deal with this much bread:
7.
And this many cucumbers:
8.
Do you really want to get notes like this all the time?
9.
And do you REALLY want to be a planet? DO YOU?!
10.
Because chances are if you're dating someone named Barb Ell, you aren't dating someone at all:
11.
Because no one should share this much of their life with ANYBODY:
12.
And no one should get a tattoo like this. NO ONE:
13.
Because you can only compliment someone so much:
14.
And you can only try to decipher flirting so much before losing your mind:
15.
Because no one should have to deal with this many messages:
16.
Or with self-described "lonely boners:"
18.
Because talking cute with someone can drive a person clinically insane:
19.
And you shouldn't have to spend all your free time Urkel-ing people:
20.
Because Sonic should not be having your children:
21.
And because you... uh... uhhhhhhh... nevermind:
22.
Because the dark can be scary:
23.
And finally, because of people like Corn Cobb: