The 33 Most Important Lessons We Learned In 2013

What an important, important year.

1. Nicolas Cage is actually Emperor Maximiliano of Habsburgo.

Not too surprising.

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2. If you own a Smart Car you better have a paint job like this:

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3. Few things are funnier in this world than a dog getting hit in the unmentionables with a frisbee.

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4. Working out is a dangerous waste of time.

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5. Shorts make the cutest dresses.

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6. Never text your parents pretending to be a drug dealer.

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Via Nathan Fielder
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7. If you want to master the selfie game, follow the dude’s lead.

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8. This is probably the worst way to be woken up.

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9. Stingrays are the happiest creatures in the sea.

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10. Never get a tattoo if your name is Ana.

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11. Never have your wedding during high tide.

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12. If you want to get someone to stop being a creep, this is your best option.

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13. Chicken burgers are the biggest threat facing our great nation.

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14. Drake actually wrote Hamlet right before Nothing Was The Same.

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15. Taylor Swift needs to do duets with goats all the time.

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16. Russian folks take the best dating site pictures.

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17. This is the official best dog GIF of all time:

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18. This is the worst, most horrible thing a human being can do:

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19. Dolls are still terrifying.

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20. Never take a selfie at a baseball game.

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21. Ryan Gosling needs to eat his cereal.

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22. Conner Hart has a twisted sense of humor.

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23. Nerds do the best vandalism.

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24. A tattoo of yourself taking a selfie is never a good idea.

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25. Don’t make mistakes like this.

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26. Your childhood is over the exact moment that this happens to you.

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27. Lady Gaga inherited all her style from Mr. Burns.

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28. 1. Don’t do drugs. 2. Don’t do them like this:

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29. Confetti is apparently not delicious.

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30. Babies make terrific plates.

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31. Golf is a dangerous sport.

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32. Actresses without their teeth are terrifying.

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33. In conclusion: The future is here. The future is now. The future is popcorn in your hoodie.

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