23 Viciously Funny Twitter Comebacks

Close encounters of the BURN kind. Call an ambulance.

1. This Guy vs. Louis C.K.

ID: 3174068
ID: 3166595

2. Celebuzz vs. Rihanna.

ID: 3174087
ID: 3174088

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

— Rihanna (@rihanna)
ID: 3174090

3. This guy vs. James Blunt.

ID: 3166637

I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt

— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt)
ID: 3166681

4. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (1).

ID: 3174023

The General Election is one year away. Here's how you can back the plan that is turning Britain around: https://t.co/T9MyVSuX53

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron)
ID: 3174024

@David_Cameron you fucking deluded spunktrumpet dishface fuckoff

— CHWIS (@whitesweed)
ID: 3174025

5. Piers Morgan vs. Gary Lineker.

ID: 3166772

@GaryLineker_ I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)
ID: 3166763

@piersmorgan I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker)
ID: 3166767

6. This Guy vs. Tom Anderson.

ID: 3166966

People keep asking, so I'll say it: fear over Instagram's terms change is ridiculous... Get real folks!

— Tom Anderson (@myspacetom)
ID: 3166978

@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

— Tom Anderson (@myspacetom)
ID: 3166970

7. Rio Ferdinand vs. This Guy.

ID: 3174277

While u guys around the world are out celebrating New Year spare a thought for me please...I'll be in the team hotel sleeping!! #LoveTheGame

— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5)
ID: 3174278

@rioferdy5 will you spare a thought for the rest of the country struggling to make a living while your on 80k a week you fuckin bellend

— knicker sniffer 86 (@Scouselikebread)
ID: 3174280

8. David Cameron vs. Rob Delaney and Sir Patrick Stewart.

ID: 3166926

I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions.

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron)
ID: 3166927

.@David_Cameron @BarackObama Hi guys, I'm on the line now too. Get me up to speed.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney)
ID: 3166932

.@robdelaney @David_Cameron @BarackObama I'm now patched in as well. Sorry for the delay.

— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew)
ID: 3166934

9. This Guy vs. SEGA.

ID: 3174290

What I wouldn't give for @sega to make a new Jet Grind game

— Justin PUi (@HotPikachuSex)
ID: 3174293

@HotPikachuSex What I wouldn't give to have not read your user name.

ID: 3174295

10. This Girl vs. Nickelback.

ID: 3174050

I blame Nickelback.

— My (@mybueno)
ID: 3174051

@mybueno we blame you. Not sure for what, but it was definitely you.

— Nickelback (@Nickelback)
ID: 3174052

11. Oprah Winfrey vs. Shaq.

ID: 3166872


— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah)
ID: 3166873

@oprah ur caps r on, btw

ID: 3166877

12. This Guy vs. Frankie Muniz.

ID: 3174305

@iHeartMtnDEW Yeah, but being retired with $40,000,000.00 at 19 has not been awful. Good luck moving out of your moms house before youre 35.

— Frankie Muniz (@frankiemuniz)
ID: 3174306

13. Piers Morgan vs. Michael Owen.

ID: 3166816

@piersmorgan Please, I beg you, bore off and stop talking about football. Tweet about things you know. Newspapers, Cakes, Doughnuts etc.

— michael owen (@themichaelowen)
ID: 3166829

@themichaelowen Please, I beg YOU, get back on your little bench and stop pretending you're still a footballer.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)
ID: 3166824

14. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (2).

ID: 3174038

Tax relief for business investment doubled to 򣔀,000 today. ꎙ.8% of firms will pay NO tax on capital investment. #LongTermEconomicPlan

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron)
ID: 3174040

@David_Cameron Fuck off, Moontwat.

— Al Jahom (@AlJahom)
ID: 3174041

15. Drake vs. T. Boone Pickens.

ID: 3174321

The first million is the hardest.

— Drizzy (@Drake)
ID: 3174323

The first billion is a helluva lot harder RT @Drake: The first million is the hardest.

— T. Boone Pickens (@boonepickens)
ID: 3174322

16. The Sun vs. Rihanna.

ID: 3174097

A raunchy advert showing Rihanna writhing around in her undies features shots of a bum & body double http://t.co/1y78ZZ44

— The Sun (@TheSunNewspaper)
ID: 3174098

Ok @thesunnewspaper , this is the only way I could say this to you!!! FUCK YOU....AND yo baggy ass condom

— Rihanna (@rihanna)
ID: 3174099

17. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (1).

ID: 3174059

Made argument that UK faces choice-let up now with more borrowing & back to square one or work through our plan to deliver a secure future

— George Osborne (@George_Osborne)
ID: 3174060

@George_Osborne hope you die in a bin fire you shape shifting horse fucker

— Pᄽrö (@ribs909)
ID: 3174061

18. The Wanted vs. Zayn Malik.

ID: 3174123

@MaxTheWanted I'm not sure why your still talking to me mate conversation ended when I called you a geek.

— zaynmalik1D (@zaynmalik)
ID: 3174133

@zaynmalik that's not very nice. I was just starting to like you and your RnB hits.

— Max George (@MaxTheWanted)
ID: 3174134

@zaynmalik @maxthewanted I think 𠇁 stripes” got his knickers in a twist bro

— Thomas Parker (@TomTheWanted)
ID: 3174124

@TomTheWanted mate if I had a face like yours my hair would be the last thing I'd worry about :)

— zaynmalik1D (@zaynmalik)
ID: 3174136

19. Piers Morgan vs. Jeremy Clarkson.

ID: 3174140

What a monumental twat this man is. I cannot wait for the day he goes to prison.

— Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson)
ID: 3174141

Being called a 'monumental twat' by a racist pot-bellied pig @JeremyClarkson who wants nurses executed is the purest definition of irony.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)
ID: 3174143

20. James Arthur vs. Frankie Boyle.

ID: 3174144

@frankieboyle Poor old man making yet more shit jokes about Xfactor because he knows that's the only way he can get attention any more #prat

— James Arthur (@JamesArthur23)
ID: 3174148

@JamesArthur23 I think if I wanted attention I'd sing covers on a talent show, inked up like a schooldesk in a remedial class

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle)
ID: 3174145

21. Chris Brown vs. Lindsay Ellis.

ID: 3174327

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all the beautiful women around the world.. Know that you are loved and appreciated !! God bless.

— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown)
ID: 3174328

@chrisbrown awww I bet you say that to all the victims.

— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis)
ID: 3174329

22. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (2).

ID: 3174066

Been speaking at Sertec - great manufacturing business in Coleshill, Warwickshire which today announced it's creating 400 jobs.

— George Osborne (@George_Osborne)
ID: 3174062

@George_Osborne You're an irredeemable cockthistle

— The Daily Quail (@DailyQuail)
ID: 3174064

23. Nathan Fillion vs. Some Kid on Xbox Live.

ID: 3174161

Kid on Xbox: Eat a bag of dicks. Me: I'm vagiterian. Nailed it.

— Nathan Fillion (@NathanFillion)
ID: 3174162

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Dan Dalton is a staff writer for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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