If Disney Princesses Were From Florida

Florida: the most magical place on earth. All inspired by wonderfully true Florida headlines.

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1. Sleeping Beauty

Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed

Once upon a time, a princess named Aurora got some dust in her eye and went to use some eye drops. Unfortunately, she grabbed the glue instead and accidentally glued her eyes shut.

She remained like that for 100 years until a doctor was able to take the glue off.

2. Snow White

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Once upon a time, there was a girl named Snow White and she lived in the woods with her seven much smaller best friends. One night, they threw a party and Snow, drunkenly looking for a toilet, called the police for some help. They were not super happy about this and took her off to prison.

There, she met a wicked witch who told her of his evil plans to lift the ban on "Dwarf Tossing". After she got out of prison, Snow took that man to court to make sure he could not continue his blatant disrespect of people smaller than him.

3. Ariel

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Once upon a time, a young girl was out boating when she was suddenly attacked by an airborne fish. She was knocked unconscious and had a dream that the fish ws her friend named Flounder. When she finally awoke, her voice was hoarse and her legs were weak. She never ate fish again.

4. Jasmine

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A princess kept in captivity fell in love with a chicken nugget thief with a herpes infected monkey known for terrorizing the great state of Florida.

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5. Mulan

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After being arrested, Mulan steals her cell mate's identity to make bail. She then becomes the best dang warrior this country has ever seen.

6. Elsa

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Once upon a time, there was a little girl who couldn't stop making dry ice bombs. She had no idea of their power, but she knew she couldn't control it, so she retreated to a vending machine where she got stuck. Her sister looked high and low until finally she found her, freeing her from her self-made prison.

As payment, Elsa sacrificed all that she fought for: her Snickers bar.

7. Pochahontas

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Once upon a time, a young lady was going to school when suddenly a group of raccoons knocked down the door and invaded the place. One raccoon peed on her and they became friends for life.

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