You've come to the horrid realisation that someone you once quite liked is actually a bit of a wanker.
And it's awkward, because you're supposed to be friends. Maybe even good friends.
It starts slowly. Maybe you don't see them as much. Maybe they just never make the time to see you. Maybe you just don't have much in common anymore.
Their tweets now make you roll your eyes.
Their blog updates, once informative and interesting, now seem tedious and self-indulgent.
And let's not even get started on all the pictures of their FACE on Instagram.
And now you know the truth: It's time to break up with them on the internet. You're going to have to cut them off online.
1. The "Stalk-No-More" Foursquare Unfriend.
2. The "Let's See If They Notice" Pinterest Board Unfollow.
3. The "OK, This Is Getting Serious" Complete Pinterest Unfollow.
4. The "No Hearts for You" Instagram Ignore.
5. The "I've Had E-fucking-nough" Instagram Unfollow.
This is probably the easiest one to get away with, unless your "friend" that you never see in person and rarely texts you is actively checking that you follow them back on Instagram.
And it feels so liberating because you no longer have to see all of the #superfun #cocktail parties they haven't invited you to!
6. The "Let's See If You Notice THIS" Adding to Limited Profile on Facebook Move.
7. The (Probably Drunk) Facebook Unfriend.
8. The (Most Definitely Drunk) Facebook Block.
9. The "Shit Just Got Real" Twitter Unfollow.
10. The "I BASICALLY HATE YOU" Twitter Block.
However, all of this unfriending and unfollowing might mean that your actions may have awkward ramifications, such as:
11. The "Hey! Drinks soon? xx" Facebook message.
12. The "This amazing thing has happened to me, blah blah blah, how's you?" Whatsapp message.
13. Then, there might also be a "What the fuck is going on?" email they send six months later when they finally realise you've deleted them from every single social network.
They're all like, "I mean, even Google+? Seriously? I DON'T EVEN USE THAT." And then you're all like, "NOBODY USES GOOGLE+ BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT."
Which then causes...
14. The "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE??" Downward Spiral.
15. This is when you relapse and spend hours pouring over old Facebook photos of you together, stalk their Instagram, and view their Twitter feed in an Incognito Chrome tab.
16. However, in doing this, you become enraged all over again, and subsequently remind yourself how annoying they are and why you unfriended them in every way imaginable.
Unfortunately, this doesn't make the process of losing a friend any easier, but it does mean that at least you won't have a reminder of a failed friendship every time you check your feeds.