A lot of things can happen during one day at summer camp, especially when you go to Camp Firewood.
At the end of the final episode of Netflix's Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, Coop (Michael Showalter) recaps all eight episodes in a matter of 53 seconds.
And although the things that come out of his mouth might sound ridiculously unbelievable, they all happened. All of them.
I had to break up with Donna after Yaron tried to make us have a threesome. And then Tigerclaw showed up because Andy stole Katie away from Blake, and they tried to destroy the camp. And then, well, right after that, President Reagan and the U.S. Military also tried to destroy the camp. But that was after they also shot Eric, that hermit who lived at camp and turned out to be a musical legend. And then that new counselor, Lindsay? Well, she saved us all because she was secretly a rock magazine journalist. And then Gail Blew off Jonas at their wedding, and his name is actually Gene and he fought in Vietnam. And Gene also got beaten up by an assassin named Falcon, who tried to kill Beth and did kill Greg and this guy Jim Stansel. But then he turned out to be good the whole time, which I acknowledge doesn't really make any sense. And he was only here to protect Mitch, who was turned into a can of vegetables. And then also Ben and McKinley are dating, Susie hooked up with Claude, Neal got laid, Victor didn't get laid, and Abby had her period. So, it — it was a hard day.
Brain. Can't. Compute.
Wait, hold on, let's hear that a little slower this time:
"I had to break up with Donna (Lake Bell) after Yaron (David Wain) tried to make us have a threesome."
All is fair in love and war:
"And then Tigerclaw showed up because Andy (Paul Rudd) stole Katie (Marguerite Moreau) away from Blake (Josh Charles)..."
That's definitely Harry Crane from Mad Men with a croquet mallet:
"... and they tried to destroy the camp."
Um, wait, what? President Reagan?!
"And then, well, right after that, President Reagan (Michael Showalter) and the U.S. Military also tried to destroy the camp."
CHRIS PINE! CHRIS PINE!
"But that was after they also shot Eric (Chris Pine), that hermit who lived at camp and turned out to be a musical legend."
TWIST!
"And then that new counselor, Lindsay (Elizabeth Banks)? Well, she saved us all because she was secretly a rock magazine journalist."
That hair:
"And then Gail (Molly Shannon) blew off Jonas (Chris Meloni) at their wedding, and his name is actually Gene and he fought in Vietnam."
Oh my god, oh my god:
"And Gene also got beaten up by an assassin named Falcon (Jon Hamm)."
Michael Cera never saw it coming:
"... who tried to kill Beth (Janeane Garofalo) and did kill Greg (Jason Schwartzman) and this guy named Jim Stansel (Michael Cera)."
Everything makes no sense and ALL of the sense:
"But then he turned out to be good the whole time, which I acknowledge doesn't really make any sense."
THE CAN WAS A MAN:
"And he was only here to protect Mitch (H. Jon Benjamin), who was turned into a can of vegetables."
Ah, the sparks of a new romance:
"And then also Ben (Bradley Cooper) and McKinley (Michael Ian Black) are dating."
Those shoulder pads, though:
"Susie (Amy Poehler) hooked up with Claude (John Slattery), Neal (Joe Lo Truglio) got laid..."
OMG child Abby turned into adult Abby when she got her period:
"... Victor (Ken Marino) didn't get laid, and Abby (Marisa Ryan) had her period."
And, well, that about sums up Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp.
