Spent the whole video snickering and facepalming, but that last line was actually sweet.
Spent the whole video snickering and facepalming, but that last line was actually sweet.
Chicken nugget meal with ranch or sweet chili sauce, fries and a coke. Go.
9. Because fresh snow is pretty, massive snow piles are impressive, and shoveling is an accomplishment.
14. Usually some kind of burrito
16. Because fall/autumn, you heathen. Otherwise, I’m stumped.
These were the worst social taboos you could come up with? Really?
No. No. Oh, honey. No. Breakfast sausage takes like grease in the form of a turd block. Unlike bacon, which tastes like grease in the form of God’s glory. Please stop, for the sake of all that is good.
Also, the above is not intended to insult all other forms of sausage, many of which are *as delicious as* bacon.
One of the most underrated films ever. See also the calling out of the wildly unlikely lucky coincidences that happen at random in other Disney-esque films: “What are the chances that door would lead me right here?!”//”Well, you could have told me that before I set [the completely random trampoline just under our plummeting heroes] up”
Making fun of white people without a generic list of things/activities that’s already been written 50 times over? HALLELUJAH! And, unsurprisingly, the white whine has beaten me here. (Note: stating that the avocado and bacon tattoos are awesome isn’t whining. That’s just logic.)
I didn’t know Barney Stinson owned a liquor store.
Still better than the actual series finale.
“Definitive proof”? Really? Okay, then, how about some definitive proof that eating vegetables is ridiculous: “I just don’t know how to get my kids to eat their purses”. “I’ve been trying to eat a full five servings of shampoos a day” “I just found a recipe for a great salad! Lots of kitchen sinks!” Really, though. I’ve never felt any real desire to smoke. The stupidity of this has tempted me to pick up a cigarette more that any Marbolo ad ever could.
MEMORIES. And yet I still say the best memorable catchphrase Amanda ever uttered was “Thaaaaat’s MEEE!”
And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t even. Just don’t even.
There was a time when “things white people do” were fun. That time passed about five “things white people do” posts ago. Though it is still mildly amusing to read the cries of “if this were a list of things (insert minority group here) did, people would be outraged, you racists!” I must say, too, that this particular white people post makes me much less white than several other white people posts. Which is confusing, because, really, I’m basically whiter than skim milk.
Obama is heading out, personally attending memorials and making speeches, but yeah, Melissa, let’s judge based on arbitrary social media comments of 140 characters or less. Having seen some of her other tweets, I’m not surprised.
Hmm. Kinda seems like the authors are just whining about the stereotypical things people do in fall that they personally don’t like and wrapping it up in “things white people do” post-bow to feel more witty about it. I did like the tagline, though.
I’ve used some pretty severe words for Joan when her snark veered into belittling or a (rare) slur. I’m going going to be too sorry, because I’m pretty sure she’d just laugh and snark right back, but I do regret being ignorant of the length and impact of her career. We should subdue our comments a bit for the sake of her family, but I agree wholeheartedly with the notion that Joan wouldn’t want anything less than a tribute that sounds like she could have delivered it herself.
If I have to hear the “Republicans passed civil rights” line one more time, I am going to collect American history and political science textbooks, wrap them up in paper decorated with lists of what both major parties stood for in the Civil Rights Era as opposed to today and throw the whole damn thing in someones face.
Had already read all off these except “Doors”, so I decided I wanted more and checked out “The Basement” from the link at the end. NOPE.
Also, sort and sweet, and, of course, from Tumblr: Of course Bruce Willis will continue to make action movies. After all, you know what they say about old habits…
(What follows is high paraphrased. I remember first hearing it in a play called Nunsense. (Yes, really)) A nun was at a riding camp and getting lessons. This being a Christian camp, the owner and minister told her that to make her horse move, she should say “Hallelujah”, and to get him to stop she should say “Amen”. She was able to get going well enough, but her horse began to trot, and then run straight out. She soon realized that not only had she forgotten the word to make the horse stop, but that they were heading right for a cliff. Desperate, she began running through every religious word she could think of, to no avail. Finally, finding her doom inevitable, she began to recite the Lord’s Prayer, ending with “Amen”. The horse skidded to a halt on the very edge of the cliff. Stunned and relived at her miraculous save, she immediately cheered out “Hallelujah!”
I have no idea what the big deal is, but “Obama: The Audacity of Taupe” is a pretty good one-liner.
As a white person, I know I need to tread lightly to avoid blending in with the crowds who will take “really problematic in a shit ton of ways” as “RACIST AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE”, but man, I don’t even know where to begin with this. 1. I reeeally don’t want to put in my foot in my mouth when it comes to use of the word “basic”, so I’ll just focus on the context of this show and say that the term “basic woman” on its own looks and sounds really troublesome. The fact that the basic (yes, I know) meaning seems to be “inferior due to lack of popular style” makes it even more so. From the information presented in that panel, what in the world is wrong with Joanie besides the “Well, I guess I must suck” expression on her face? Personally, I love that dress. 2. As Camille put it so well above, probably the biggest problem with this is the implication that black women don’t suffer confidence or body issues or wouldn’t dare be seen in certain clothes. They may do so in lesser numbers than with white women- and heck, that may well be because of our white-centric media industry- white women see unrealistic images of themselves while black women rarely see themselves at all- but I’m pretty damn sure that there are women of all colors out there who are made to be overly critical about how they look, and implying that these issues are only present among certain race makes them feel more alone. 3. And to get to the brass tacks of it, everything I’m seeing reminds me of why I have such a love/hate relationship with Queer Eye. I watch it on Netflix because I love the guys in general, the humor, and the feel-good vibes at the end of each episode, but holy fuck, the judginess is almost unbearable sometimes. Making your wife do everything for you is one thing. Daring to wear *gasp* jeans and a t-shirt on an average day when you have nothing special going on is another- and not just from the Fab Five, either. Family and friends imply they’re personally offended. The way they just expect that everyone should, as a life rule, be wearing designer clothes and getting high-end manicures and haircuts every week demonstrates, if nothing else, a total ignorance as to what the average working class American can even afford. And I worry this show will be just the same way.
A “former White House official” quoted by the Daily Mail… Slow news day?
Okay, but I still want the outtake where Ian McKellan comes in and dumps a whole new bucket over both their heads and then they pose for a cheesy-but-somehow-still-impossibly-classy photo together.
Okay, but #23. HOW.
We do need to note that these comments were made before Robin’s death, and that the timing is a coincidence. I feel like some are assuming he made those comments in direct reference to Robin. But that aside, there’s no excuse for what he said. Maybe- MAYBE- he’s referring to people who aren’t serious about depression or suicide using them to get attention, but if he is, he’s wording it pretty terribly. He’s stigmatizing all young people- one of the groups most prone to depression, and not because “OMG I hate my hometown”. And someone about to kill themselves and telling someone about it is reaching out for help at the moment they need it most. But you’re telling them to die…for what, your own satisfaction? Finally, people who are on the verge of suicide don’t actually want to die, they want their pain to end. They want some control over their own suffering. So you swinging a gun in their face isn’t proving a single damn point. Gene Simmons is a once-rebel, now just attention seeking trash.
Jimmy is a class act. Robin would be proud. And that last bit, jeez. I’ve seen several people doing similar tributes. It’d be cool if it started a trend- like if we could get people to stand on their desks/tables while holding up signs with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number (and perhaps other help lines as well, or names of charities Robin supported)
To the people saying this should shut down Twitter: there also countless people celebrating Robin’s life, spreading awareness about depression and suicide, and in general trying to find what good can come from this. It does suck that a side effect of social media is that these people can reach Zelda directly. But people say horrible things through any outlet. Some guy on a random Christian radio station tried to suggest Robin was going to hell. Should we shut down the radio? I get it. You think Twitter is stupid. And there are certainly lots of stupid and even horrible people. But there are also many good ones. Social media is not the problem- it’s an outlet for the people who are the problem. As for these little pathetic excuses for human beings, I’m all for as much karma as can possibly come. I love the idea of setting up Zelda and Robin’s pigeons, but that only seems good enough for the average internet idiot. Do you think pigeons can be trained to chase someone down and poop directly in their mouth?