51 Things You Don’t Have To Do

Ever feel like the world is pressuring you do to certain things or be a certain way? Well you don’t have to!

You don’t have to…

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1. Get manicures.

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2. Watch “30 Rock.”

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3. Get waxes.

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4. Be a fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal.

You can choose to have no opinion whatsoever.

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5. Get an IUD.

Other birth control methods might suit you better, and that’s okay.

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6. Do yoga.

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7. Separate whites and colors.

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8. Hand-wash your bras.

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9. Diet after New Year’s.

Well, maybe unless it’s this diet, which almost sounds fun.

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10. Diet for bathing suit season.

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11. Live abroad.

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12. Take a couple months off after college to “backpack.”

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13. Get wasted just because it’s Friday night.

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14. Go to Vegas.

Especially if it’s just for the elevator self-portraits.

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15. Have “Teams.”

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16. Hate L.A.

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17. Keep living in a city when you have kids.

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18. Like Taylor Swift.

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19. Become a locavore.

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20. Avoid fruit juice.

Yes, it has calories and sugar but is also delicious and nutritious!

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21. Make your own cutoffs.

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22. Act like food is better because it came from a trailer.

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23. Be nostalgic for a recent past decade.

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24. Read all of the “New Yorker” every week.

Even the girl who writes a blog about reading The New Yorker doesn’t recommend reading all of it every week.

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25. Shun girlie drinks.

They’re delicious! Pink is fun! Etc.

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26. Sightsee on vacation.

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27. Visit museums.

That’s what the internet is for — to save us from wandering around too-air conditioned buildings to see stuff like this.

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28. Enjoy the beach.

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29. “Lay out.”

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30. Order sushi with brown rice.

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31. Order egg whites for your omelette.

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32. Ski.

Too many show-offs.

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33. Hate Uggs.

They are useful in the snow.

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34. Bother cooking something when you’re eating alone.

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35. Pierce something other than your earlobes.

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36. “Get” art.

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37. Drive cross-country.

This is all you see for days. Why bother?

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38. Like coffee.

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39. Drink Pinot Grigio.

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40. Order salad dressing on the side.

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41. Buy expensive gym clothes.

Like Lululemon.

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42. Straighten your hair.

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43. Have sex with more than one person at once.

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44. Have sex in an unconventional location.

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45. Act like bottled waters taste different.

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46. Pay more for artisinal anything.

Like soap with leaves in it.

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47. Only buy organic produce.

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48. Pay a lot for a handbag.

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49. Tell stories about how drunk you got that one time.

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50. Get an iPhone.

What’s that in Rihanna’s hand? A white BlackBerry Bold.

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51. Wear heels.


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