allisons10
 
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    • allisons10

      Because I’m a dork I took the quiz for Loki or how I think Loki would answer it and I really don’t think this test is accurate! I mean, the man got Sanguine, which parts might be true but his ass sure as hell is not optimistic or at least not always! But I will say he is full of ideas and does have a vast imagination and is also a risk taker in many ways and though he may not admit it probably would embrace those who are rejected because he knows how it feels.
      You got: Sanguine
      People always find your company to be immensely pleasurable, and you always bring cheer through a seemingly endless reserve of optimism. You have a vast imagination, and though you are constantly full of ideas you do at times struggle to follow through with all of them. You are a risk-taker in many ways, and you are always willing to embrace those who need it most. You thrive on the energy of people, and you are able to make friends with relative ease.

    • allisons10

      I don’t know if I have this or if my anxiety is just that insane and out of control or perhaps even both, but a lot of these are me, especially when I watch or hear something sad or going anywhere near florescent lights and bath and body works. I hate shopping because of all the noise, the lights, and the smell of the environment. Having said that, I do love me some scary stories and movies, I will generally leave you alone if you say you are fine, only letting you know that I’m here if you need me because I know how that feels when people bother me about what is wrong. I’m a people pleaser and that has led others to take advantage and abuse me because I don’t like letting them down. I’ve learned to manage it and not let others run over my boundaries but it is very hard!

    • allisons10

      I LOVE THIS!!! Finally some recognition. I’m gray romantic, basically I could care either way if I fall in love or not, I’ve never been in any type of relationship and don’t really care to be in one in the future. I’ve gotten so much hate, criticism and even into so many arguments with friends because they don’t believe people are aromantic and that I am one of them. They believe the myth that I’m just afraid of rejection or commitment and should try falling in love before I reject it. I mean, that is not how it works! How can I fall in love IF I DON’T HAVE THOSE FEELINGS TO BEGIN WITH!?! You wouldn’t pressure someone to have sex with someone, why the fuck would you do that for romantic relationships!?! Even if I do have casual sex as someone who is aromantic, that doesn’t mean that I won’t respect the person that I am with or not be able to connect to them in some way and care about their wants and needs even if I never really see them again; you know, the way sex is SUPPOSE to be.

    • allisons10

      Who the hell put any Republicans in Hufflepuff!?! Especially Ben Carson and Jeb Bush! Even putting a small percentage of Donald Trump belonging to Hufflepuff is being horrible and rude to House Hufflepuff!! DISHONOR ON YOU…DISHONOR ON YOUR FAMILY…DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!!

    • allisons10

      Sorry if this is too long to read, but this really struck a cord with me and triggered something in me. I’ve battled my eating disorder (bulimia) all my life basically. It started when I was encouraged to diet as a chubby 9 year old. I was guilted when it came to food and my grandma (among other family members and even some teachers) really were very verbally and emotionally abusive when it came to my weight and my eating. My grandma would single me out in front of others and as I got older would purposefully starve me or feed me way less than everyone else and would make a show out of it. I was constantly told that certain foods were poison, disgusting and dirty by my parents, who did have my best interest at heart but it didn’t help with the guilt complex that I had around food. I began to “diet” or really crash diet which then led me to binging heavily and secretly on the foods that were “forbidden”. I started to gain weight because of this, or really yo yo in my weight, I would lose 14 pounds here or there but then gain twice as much as that later. Then when I was 18 I started to experiment with purging, only doing it occasionally (about once a month) after I had a horrible binge. It felt great and when I got lapband surgery at age 20 to help me lose vast amounts of weight, I ended up using the band as a tool to help me purposefully puke after I would binge. It became SUPER addicting and I got up to binging and purging six times a day, and went from a weight of 379 to 282. During this time I didn’t think I had a problem since if you do eat too much you do puke as a result with the band, but as my doctor had warned me, there were a few others who would purposefully tighten the band to make it to where they either didn’t eat, or only ate certain foods to help lose great amounts of weight faster. I was doing this of course but I was also in denial about it. Then it got to the point where I couldn’t puke like I use to, because my gag reflex had been over used and I started to lose it. I started to gain some of the weight back and because of this I would desperately try even harder to purge, so much so that I almost choked on my vomit twice. I decided I had to get help and I got the liquid in my band removed, making it as if I never had it, but I didn’t get better. I still would try my best to purge after a binge, even going to non purging methods such as “fasting” or starving myself to help me not gain weight. I did gain weight of course (thank you screwed up metabolism), so I started fasting even harder for two days then binging all day for one, going back and forth for two years until I saw a nutritionist who told me straight up that I had a very deep and scary eating disorder. She couldn’t necessarily diagnose me because she wasn’t a specialist, but she gave me some numbers to call. I called but as it turned out that treatment for eating disorders is at least 1500 a week for inpatient (which she highly recommended)! I was a poor ass college student with no insurance (not that it would cover me since I had a obese BMI) I talked to my counselor at my school (who was free) about what was going on. She agreed that it did sound like I had bulimia, and even brought out her college diagnosis book to go over the symptoms with me, I checked off almost all of them except for one. I’ve since gained almost all of my weight back but instead of focusing on weight loss, I’m focusing on just getting healthy by exercising and eating right. I’ve lost some inches and some weight as a result, but its a struggle not to focus on that or get to angry and upset at myself for not losing more or even gaining a couple of pounds back. Its very hard, and when you are a already fat girl who has an eating disorder, people don’t look at you like you actually have an one, to them, you are just fat, lazy and unmotivated. So many people told me to keep up the good work, and to keep striving for my goal even though I had very irregular periods and was purging so much. My mom and grandma even got upset and angry with me for getting the fluid out, even after I told them I had almost choked to death TWICE and I had problems. I don’t care what people believe about me and my ED, I know the truth and I don’t need their validation, but for others who are big or even average weight I really do hope that if they are going through what I am going through, they realize how much harm they can do to their bodies and seek help immediately. I still have stomach issues, and there are so many triggers for me, especially when I am sick! Also a big hurdle in dealing with being big or even average size is that many insurances will not cover them because of their BMI’s, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have it or shouldn’t keep going to look for some kind of help. It is out there, keep looking!

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