1. Recall, if you will, The Prince of Egypt.
Also known as one of the greatest achievements in feature-length animated cinema. Don’t believe me? Consider the following:
2. It’s written by Philip LaZebnik, also known as the writer for a lil’ art house film called Pocahontas. He also wrote the screenplay for Mulan.
He’s like the Shakespeare of diverse, important animated stories.
3. It was directed by Brenda Chapman, who went on to become the first woman to direct a feature-length Pixar film. That film was Brave.
Chapman co-directed The Prince of Egypt with Steve Hickman and Simon Wells.
4. The soundtrack was written by a little-known, small-town composer by the name of HANS ZIMMER.
Hans Zimmer has scored every film you have ever loved in your life.
5. And the songs/lyrics were written by Stephen Schwartz, who also happened to write the books for three of the most accoladed musicals ever created in the history of sound.
6. The music includes some of the most beautiful songs ever gifted to humanity by the music gods, and includes songs like “Through Heaven’s Eyes” and “When You Believe.”
“When You Believe,” by Stephen Schwartz and Babyface, won the Academy Award for Best Original Song. Because mediocrity is for suckers.
7. The Prince of Egypt tells the story of Moses, which is part of a compilation of short stories that make up the best-selling book on planet Earth.
“The book is so much better than the movie.” —priests, probably
8. The voice cast includes Helen Mirren, Ralph Fiennes, Danny Glover, Sandra Bullock, Michelle Pfeiffer — takes a deep breath — Steve Martin, Patrick Stewart, Martin Short, Jeff Goldblum, and Val Kilmer in a double role as Moses and also GOD.
Are you kidding me?
9. The animators were not even close to messing around when it came to making this movie. LOOK AT THIS SHOT. LOOK AT IT.
You didn’t even think it was possible to make a building-sized shark look even cooler than usual, did you?
10. And the reason it looks so cool is because they weaved more than 1,180 computer-generated special effects sequences into their traditional animation.
At what other point in your life do you get to say the phrase “CGI hieroglyphic combo flashback-chase sequence”?
11. And check out the burning bush scene! Old Testament God hasn’t looked this good on film in EVER.
12. Seriously this might be the most beautiful thing ever put on a screen.
::cries real tears at the beauty of it all::
13. Scientists have confirmed* that if you don’t see The Prince of Egypt, everyone you know will be very disappointed with you.
14. So cancel whatever your plans were tonight and stay in. Watch the Prince of Egypt. Bask in the genius.
You won’t regret it.