32 Reasons Why The S.S. Coachella Is Way Better Than Regular Coachella

Why would you want to fight your way through unshowered crowds when you could listen to music on the high seas?

1. People stay cool this way.

2. Instead of this way.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

3. You can actually see the performers onstage.

And play with balloons!

4. Instead of craning your neck at the back.

5. You can eat like this.

At a table, with a fork, like an offiicial human being.

6. Instead of like this.

7. You can drink mojitos.

8. Rather than beer (?) from an unwashed tube.

9. Couples can relax in the sun.

10. Without fear of bumping helmets.

Chris Pizzello / AP

11. The scariest thing you’ll encounter is this.

Your own personal towel folded into the shape of a bunny rabbit by the people who clean your cabin each night.

12. Instead of this.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Santigold.

13. Or this.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

The Hives.

14. You have a cabin with a gorgeous view and a bed to pass out in.

15. Instead of having to use the parking lot.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

16. There are honest-to-God bathrooms.

Even if you aren’t allowed to flush tiny cars.

17. In fact, the bathrooms look like this.

18. And not this.

No matter how many flowers you have in your hair, the Porta Potties are still a vile experience.

19. The baby will have a pleasant time.

20. Instead of getting heat stroke in the hot Indio sun.

21. You get to chill with the performers…

Hi, Jarvis Cocker.

22. …who are legitimately chill.

23. You can hang out with these happy people.

Cute Bangs Girl.

24.

Happy Hammock Guy.

25.

Don’t they look nice?

26. Instead of him.

David Hasselhoff in a witchcraft outfit.

27. And you never have to lay eyes on any of these people again.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
28.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
29.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

32. The only random nudity you’re likely to encounter is the blow-up doll variety.

Mark Davis / Getty Images

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