1. Order a custom piñata of the ex’s face.
Available from Bunny Corpse. This could also make an awesome regular gift, so long as the recipient has a sense of humor/doesn’t mind watching their own face be smashed in exchange for a shower of fun-size Snickers.
2. Or customize a dartboard.
THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, RYAN. Available here.
3. Or a voodoo doll.
That’s Carol. Hi Carol. Available from YouDooDoll.
8. Not really sure who this card is intended for, but it could come in handy.
9. Prepare a meal that your/your friend’s ex hated and you/your friend love.
Show that freegan-vegan who’s boss with a succulent rib-eye.
11. Like, REALLY own it.
You could wear it semi-meta-ironically? Get it here.
13. Pour one out for lost love into this anti-Valentine wine glass.
14. Let T-Swift’s experiences serve as a reminder.
This actually seems like an incredibly crafty/cruel way to facilitate a breakup in the first place.
18. This set of some Etsy seller’s ex-boyfriend-bedecked nesting dolls will cure whatever ails you.
These are incredible.
19. Buy a boyfriend in a bottle.
Don’t they kind of look like One Direction? (Except for the bottles.)
20. Bid society’s ideal of romance goodbye with this gym bag.
Available from Someecards.