1. The classic Kickstarter joke item. For a bonus laugh, have a look on Kickstarter at all the imitators it spawned, and how much money they didn't get. 2. Sure alcohol and sex can go together. But this close together? Cutting out the middle man or woman or something. 3. Want to get bullied and teased? Get one of these. 4. Why isn't this game called 'Shart Attack'? WHY? 5. Now we all know why 'Famingo-ing' will never be a thing. 6. This guy obviously hates raisins, nearly as much as the idea of just putting together his own trail mix. 7. I want to find the friends of this person who all told him this was a brilliant idea and buy them a drink. They are the real comedians here. 8. Inserting toes between other toes. What could be sexier? Probably everything else. 9. Because 'money' doesn't look 'money' enough. I'm pretty sure altering currency is against the law as well. 10. Why protest for two separate things, when you can protest for two things at once and achieve nothing but confusion? 11. Kickstarter is for 'new' ideas. Especially the ones that have been done a million times before. Kind of exactly like this Kickstarter Fails Buzzfeed thingo. 12. If you think this sounds sexy, think about it for one second. Nothing about this is sexy. 13. If you buy this you have too much money, and I have no idea why because you're stupid. 14. Or just maybe don't buy it? You do know that they have the technology to make more right? 15. If you know someone with boobies, or have them yourself, you still wouldn't do this. 16. Start with not buying whatever this is. Trying to sell "nothing" though is very post modern. 17. Disturbing or hilarious or just weird? A little dab of all three methinks. That cat's stare is also the definition of creepy. 18. At least he's honest. Which, unfortunately, got him nowhere. 19. I adore the photoshop sparkles around the outside. That's what sells it. 20. Or not a real movie, because it's never going to get made. For ever Sharknado... 21. A drone to count survivors. Because everyone knows that survivors can't count. 22. Remember that time you thought "I wish I could put some armour on my toe?" No, me neither. 23. Pay this person to ruin your childhood, and that of any child you know. 24. Because this has never been done before either. Oh and if you own a selfie stick, get rid of it a get a friend. 25. Remember all the times you thought to yourself, "What an awesome spit. That needs to be scanned." Well if you ever thought that you're insane. Like this guy.