1. “The Cannes Film Festival is over and I’m stuck on Diddy’s yacht. WHY is there no service here?”
2. “No service!?! I wonder if it’s true that if you text 911 your call will go through…”
3. “Work, you POS Apple product. I just need you to work right now.”
4. “Let me just see here… ‘Does not support international calls’? What does that even MEAN?”
5. “Oh, shit. A photographer. Just smile and act like everything’s okay.”
6. “Jesus, my Apple ID? And password? I already tried K1LLB1LL… what the fuck is my password?”
7. “Hello? iPod? Can I even make a phone call on this thing?!”
8. “Hello? Quentin? Thank god you picked up. I’m stuck on Diddy’s yacht at Cannes! Please send help!”
9. “I am leaving Cannes! Quentin is giving me a ride home! hahaha!”
10. “DON’T TELL ANYONE WHAT YOU SAW.”
- Top legal scholars will be filing the 1st major lawsuit against President Trump's alleged business conflicts on Monday.
- "Welcome to the movement": Women's March on Washington organizers are working tirelessly to make sure 1st-time marchers stick around ✊
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- The Patriots are heading to the Super Bowl yet again after crushing the Steelers. They'll play the Falcons on Feb. 5 🏈