Pauly D woke everybody up with the fire alarm on their last day along with a rousing rendition of the “Wake Up, Yeah!” song (I assume this has got to be his first single, right?).
And then everybody started leaving. J-WOWW likened living with her roommates for so long as “being in jail.” As soon a she left, The Situation asked the other girls if her boobs were real — just something that had been on his mind! Pauly and Vinny had a bitter goodbye because they — and I quote — “have done everything with each other.” Vinny’s mother was so, absolutely repulsed by the condition of the house that her reaction warranted a .gif:
Deena misses her meatball, and Ron and Sam left the house happy because, well, I’ll just go ahead and quote Ronnie on this: “This time last year I was breaking Sam’s shit and throwing her stuff off the porch — and now I’m leaving with her.”
And then there was Snooki. She was the last one left in the shore house, and as such, did the only thing left to do: poured some vodka shots, toasted the house, and got tanked all by herself.
No, you didn’t hear that wrong: some of Snooki’s last words uttered in the shore house were “Bye, STD’s,” “Whoop, there’s a piss stain,” and “The party’s over. What am I going to do now?” Well, now we know: she got pregnant. What will we do now?
- The White House defended rolling back Obama-era transgender protections, with Sean Spicer repeatedly insisting it's a "states' rights issue."
- Recreational marijuana needs "greater enforcement" of federal law, said Spicer, pitting the White House against eight states that legalized its use.
- Beyoncé has pulled out of performing at Coachella, citing doctors' advice about keeping a less rigorous schedule while pregnant 🐝😭
- Indiana police released chilling audio in the case of two teens found dead in the woods: a voice captured on one of their phones saying "down the hill."